Stay
by Tasteless Rain
Summary: 'Dani, please. Stay.'...'I can't, Santana.' You answer, breaking both Santana's and your own heart as you walk towards the door of the loft. But Santana doesn't let you go. ...My version of what I think will happen after the 100th episode. DANTANA.
1. Stay

The light peeks out of the curtain and hits you in the eyes as you slowly wake. Your head is a little fuzzy for a moment before registering where you are. A small smile pulls at your lips as you look down at the long tanned arms draped around your torso. _Santana. _

You are suddenly overtaken by the memories from last night. Your bodies are both naked under the covers from your night of love making. You had missed Santana. The Latina having left for a week to visit her friends and family back in Lima. You never expected to become so dependent in a relationship, but here are, not being able to last a week without the feisty Latina. There's just something about her that you can't get enough of. You observe Santana's face for a little longer, admiring the long lashes that brush her cheeks as she sleeps soundly, her mind some where else entirely. Your heart swells just looking at your girlfriend's peaceful face. You haven't said your 'I-love-yous' yet, but you know without a doubt that you do. You've just been waiting for the right moment to tell her.

The sound of your stomach grumbling reminds you of your hunger. You glance at the clock and read that it's only a little past nine-thirty. Santana doesn't like to be woken before ten-thirty or she'll be grumpy, so you gently extract yourself from the Latina without waking her. You smile again as you watch her sleep, her long raven hair spread out against the pillows and her body curling up into a ball in the spot you had vacated, grumbling at the loss of warmth. But she doesn't wake. You bend forward, resting your forehead on the Latina's gently, breathing in her intoxicating scent. Taking in the moment, you remember a time before Santana came into your life. When you spent your evenings alone and bored. Content with your routine, but not realizing how much you were missing out on. And then Santana came into your life, making you feel so loved. Your days were no longer caught in a monotonous routine, but now filled with excitement and joy.

Stepping away from your girlfriend, you slip into a pair of jeans and a t shirt you had left here among the collection of other things you have here in the loft. You grab your cellphone from the nightstand and make your way to the kitchen, starting the coffee machine andthen fixing yourself a bowl of cereal. The loft is unusually quiet today. With Rachel and Kurt deciding to stay a little longer with their friends and family down in Lima, it had just been you and Santana alone in the loft last night. And the two of you took full advantage of that, you think, remembering your night of reacquainting yourselves with each other's bodies. Despite the pleasure you both brought each other, you notice there was something different about last night. A certain urgency in the Latina's touches. As if she was afraid to let you go. But you brush it off as the Latina just missing you.

As you wait for the coffee to finish brewing, you spoon your cereal into your mouth and turn on your cellphone, opening up the Facebook app to kill time until your girlfriend wakes up. As you scroll down your news feed, what you see next is enough to make you freeze and drop your spoon. You don't notice the spoon clattering onto the floor, or the coffee machine beeping. All you notice is the food you just ate threatening to come back up as you stare at the photo in front of you. The photo of your girlfriend, locked in a kiss with a girl. A girl who is not you.. _Brittany, _you guess. Recognizing the girl from Santana's yearbook. Brittany. Santana's former girlfriend. Her first love. Tears rim the edges of your eyelids, and your chest is clenched so tightly you can't tell whether your heart is about to cave in or explode. But no matter how much pain the photo is bringing you, you can't take your eyes away from it. It isn't until you feel warm arms wrap around your waist from behind, and feel the soft breath of your girlfriend tickle your neck as she burrows her face into your hair. Instead of the fluttering feeling you get when Santana touches you, it burns like a hot brand and you feel your breakfast threatening to make an appearance again.

'I couldn't sleep without my beautiful girlfriend.' Santana mumbles into your neck. At this moment you snap out of your trance and open your mouth to speak.

'D-don't touch me' you manage to get out. It is laced with both venom and uncertainty. You feel Santana's arms stiffen around you before she turns around to face you. Her face is twisted with confusion and hurt. You notice she is wearing nothing but one of your over sized shirts. A sight that would have made you smile had the situation been different.

'Dani?' Santana says, her large brown eyes boring into yours. But you don't respond. You give no explanation. Not that you think you could anyways. All you do is stare right back at Santana. Your eyes now cold, face left with no trace of any emotion. Your cellphone hangs limply from your hand. You continue to stare as Santana's eyes drift towards the item in your hand. And in that moment, realization dawns on her face and is soon replaced with dread.

"Fuck!" Is all Santana can manage to get out before her body begins to violently shake. She doesn't now how she's going to fix this, but she knows she can't lose Dani.

"Dani, it's not-" Santana begins but is quickly cut off by you.

"Don't" You spit out. "Don't you dare try to defend yourself, Santana. Don't you even think about telling me this is nothing. Don't even begin to tell me that it means nothing." You don't know how you manage to speak up, but you are no longer frozen like you were before. Your whole body is shaking with anger, tears you were holding back now making their way down your cheeks. Santana reaches out to you, but you only step back and shake your head violently.

'Dani, please,' Santana chokes out, tears already streaking her face. "it was a mistake!'

'A mistake, Santana? No, a mistake is accidentally taking the wrong order at the diner! A mistake is writing the wrong answer on a test. But this, Santana. Kissing your ex-girlfriend when you're with me? That was no mistake.' By now tears are rapidly streaming down your face, showing no signs of stopping. 'J-just tell me why. Why did you kiss her? What did I do to have you hurt me so badly?' You barely make out before your throat closes in and you choke on a sob.

Santana's eyes widen in disbelief and she begins to shake her head rigorously.

"No, Dani! It's not like that! You did nothing wrong" She says desperately.

You simply look at your feet, no longer able to look at the source of your pain as you say your next words, 'Then it's her,' you begin, not able to say the girls name. 'You still love her, don't you? I was just a temporary replacement, wasn't I, dearest?', the last word you say with both sarcasm and sincerity.

Santana moves closer, this time taking you by the shoulders. You don't have the energy to move away.

"No, Dani. I want you." She says, her voice hitching. 'Yes, I love her...apart of me always will,' at this, your head snaps up and you make a move to step away from her, but Santana holds you there, desperate to have some contact with you. 'But I'm not in love with her. Not anymore.' Santana tries desperately to convince you, trying to make eye contact to no avail. 'I was scared' Santana whimpers. You look up at her this time, looking tired.

'Why were you scared, Santana? Because honestly, this isn't making any sense,' You say, the anger from before starting to ebb it's way back into your voice.

'I was scared, because I had this amazing girlfriend who made me feel things I never felt before. I was scared because here I was, Santana Lopez, resident bitch who despised everyone, was wanting to do things she never thought of doing before because of you. I was becoming this person I didn't recognize. I wanted to do anything for you, I wanted to travel, and see the world with you. And that scared me. Because things were moving so fast. I don't like change, Dani. It scares the shit out of me,' at this, Santana's voice wavers, 'It didn't matter how happy I was. The fact that someone had so much control over me, it scared me...so when I went back to Lima, there she was. Things were so easy with Brittany. She was my best friend...' You can't take this anymore. You push Santana away, going back into her room to put your stuff together.

'I don't want to hear about it, Santana.' Is all you say as you get your stuff together. Tears are long gone. All that is left is a cold, heavy rock in your heart.

'Dani, no! Please. Please don't go. Please, it won't happen again. Dani, I want you!' Santana says, rushing to grab your arm to stop you. You stop, looking at her numbly.

'Dani,' Santana's eyes never stopped crying, her body shaking with fear of losing the blue haired girl. "Dani, please. Stay.'

'I can't, Santana.' You answer, breaking both Santana's and your own heart as you walk towards the door of the loft.

But Santana doesn't let you go. She rushes past you, blocking your way as she falls to her knees and wraps her arms around you, her face pressed into your stomach as her body convulses violently with sobs.

'Santana, let me go.' You whisper tiredly. Santana only stands up, grabbing your face between her hands. She looks deeply into your eyes as she says her next words,

'I love you, Dani,' she tells you, eyes searching your own pleadingly, 'I love you, I'm in love with you. And I just can't. I c-can't let you go. Please, I promise it won't happen again. Please, stay with me. Don't do this.' She pleads one last time.

You close your eyes tightly. You had wanted to hear those words, and had been so prepared to tell the Latina how you felt about her. But you never wanted it like this. Not while your heart was breaking into a million pieces. You open your eyes again, and then slowly push Santana back into the door. You lean your forehead into hers, inhaling the girl's scent, reminding you of the moment you had this morning. Then you slowly lean forward, and with a slight pause, you close the gap, brushing your lips together. It isn't a deep, passionate kiss like the many you have shared before. No, it was like the very first kiss you had together. Soft and quick, but managing to convey so much emotion. You open your eyes again and are met with Santana's cautiously hopeful ones. What you say next is what breaks the both of you.

'Goodbye, Santana.' And with that, you move away from her as she is frozen in place. You open the door and step out, catching the sound of Santana hitting the floor and breaking into sobs. And that is the last you hear from her as you step out of the loft and out of the life of the girl you love.


	2. World Of Chances

**Thanks so much for everyone who reviewed/faved/followed! Honestly, it means so much to me every time someone leaves a comment. I'd like to thank the following guests for reviewing, I could thank you guys individually. Kilikou, 'Guest', Tribute12, Lemi Dovato. You guys are great.**

**Anyways, I'm not too happy with this. I wrote it all in one go, but I wanted to get it out there as soon as I could. **

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><p>The diner sits in darkness as you scrub the tables clean at the end of your tiring graveyard shift. You throw your towel in the sink and stretch your aching back. You notice your rippling reflection in the water and take a moment to look at your self. Your face is tired. Bags have set underneath your eyes that haven't seen happiness in awhile. You shake your head and splash your face with water. You hate working here. With Berry and Kurt working less and less due to Funny Girl and NYADA, you have no one to make this job less miserable. You hate to admit it, but you actually miss them. You haven't been seeing much of them lately. But you don't miss them as much as you miss her.<p>

You freeze, willing yourself not to go there. But it's too late. Memories come flooding back of the blue haired girl you lost. This diner is where it all started. Where you first saw her and sang your duet as the sun rose and lit the place up. Not that you noticed anyways. All you could see was her. Her beautiful eyes. That dimpled chin you loved so much. You miss all those shy smiles you would share across the room every time she caught you staring at her. All those not-so-accidental touches as you walked pass each other. Your eyes clench shut. The memories aren't as vibrant as they use to be, and that terrifies you. Six months. It has been six months since she walked out of your life and broke your heart. _But you broke her heart first, _you remind yourself. One stupid mistake and you destroyed it all.

After two weeks of calling and texting her with no response, you had finally decided to go to her apartment, knocking at her door in hopes she would be there. You hadn't shared any shifts with her. Not that you think you could have stomached seeing her so close yet unreachable. All you were met with was silenced at the door. But you were never one to give up, not until what seemed like hours of waiting when one of her neighbours told you that Dani was no longer living there. And this is when you knew that you had no chances left.

You tried dating. Seeing women here and there, after long nights of alcohol and dancing your sorrows away. But as soon as you would bring someone back to your apartment, your mind would change and ask them to leave, angering many women as you gave no explanation. But you've come to realize that no one could fill the emptiness you felt. Each woman merely making you feel more and more alone. So you gave that up. You wonder if you'll ever find someone how can make you feel like you once did. You don't think you deserve to, anyways.

"Santana! Get back to work. Costumer at table three!' You hear Gunther yell, breaking you out of your reverie.

"Gunther, I'm done! Do it yourself!" You snap back, irritated. Not many could get away with talking to Gunther like that except you. You both had a mutual understanding.

"You have ten minutes left! Table three. Now" Gunther yells back. You roll your eyes and take your notepad over to the table where you spot a dark red-head.

"Welcome to the Spo-" You stop dead mid-sentence. You don't believe your eyes as you stare gawking at the girl in front of you. She looks right back at you with that signature smirk you've missed so much. Sparkle in her eyes, eye-brows raised as if in question. _Dani._

"Gunther's still a pain in the ass, I see" She breaks the silence. You don't respond.

"No worries, I'm not here for the food." She speaks again, bringing you back to reality.

"_Dani,_" You choke out, your eyes tearing up. You mentally scold yourself for not keeping it together.

"I hear this place looks really beautiful when the sun rises." She says quietly. You nod, your face finally managing to form a smile. You're so happy to see her. You want to pull her into your arms but something tells you not to. So instead you respond to her comment.

"Yeah. It really is."

"Why don't you sit down and watch it with me?" And for the second time, you find yourself not being able to believe your senses.

"Y-yes! I would love to." You stumble out as you sit down in the seat opposite of her.

But neither of you pay attention to the sunrise. You don't notice the diner coming alive as the morning costumers arrive. You don't notice your coworkers staring. You don't notice anything but the girl in front of you. And you've never seen a sight more beautiful

She looks different, you notice first. Her blue hair is now a dark red, falling down in waves. But her face is what you notice. There's something about her that looks more mature. She looks more settled in her skin. But she's still Dani. And despite everything, you are so, so happy to see her.

"Where have you been, Dani?" You say softly. Dani sighs and runs her hands through her hair. You catch some of her scent floating your way and all you want to do is take her into your arms and and bury your face into her hair.

"Here and there," She tells you vaguely, much to your annoyance. "Everywhere. No where" She continues.

"Care to elaborate a little more?" You say with a little more spunk in your voice.

"England. Germany. Spain. Anywhere I could get to."

"Wow...I...I hadn't realized..." You start but are not able to find the words. "I'm happy for you, Dani. I know you've been wanting to travel for awhile."

"I needed a change of scene. So I booked the first flight, packed everything I could carry on my back and left."

"You must have quite the stories to tell." You say to her, flinching slightly at the fact that you were the reason she needed a change of scene.

"Like you wouldn't imagine."

And just like that, the two of you are talking like old times. Filling each other in on everything going on in the past six months. You don't tell her much about yourself. You are much more content just listening and watching her talk as her eyes light up when she recounts her adventures. Not that you would have much to tell her anyways.

"-and that's why I will never trust Google Maps again." Dani finishes. A comfortable silence falls. You notice that as you were caught up in your conversations, your hands had inched closer and closer until the tips of your fingers were intertwined. You wanted to move your hand forward and complete the hand hold, but you don't want to scare her away. So you are content with this simple touch. Grateful for the contact after so long.

"I should get back to my apartment. I need to finish unpacking..." Dani tells you, your face falling.

"Oh...yeah, of course...Sorry for keeping you." You stare down at the table, disappointed.

"Walk me home?" She asks you. You stare up at her brightly and stand up after her as you both make your way out the door.

The walk to her place is short. She still lives in the same apartment building as before. But you're glad for the extra time with her, however short. As you reach her stop, she turns back around and looks back at you. And you can't help the next words that come out of your mouth,

"So I guess this is goodbye?" You say, mimicking the first time you walked her to her door.

"For now." She repeats. And your breath hitches as she walks up to you and brushes a soft kiss at the side of your mouth.

"Goodbye, Santana." She says one last time before turning around and walking up the stairs. You watch her go and as she disappears. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding. You don't know what any of this means, and you don't want to give yourself any hope where there might not be any. But you can't help the lightness in your chest and jump in your steps as you make your way home. And you know that whatever is going on between you and Dani right now, you plan on doing everything you can to keep her in your life.

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><p>You've been laying in bed for the past hour, trying to will yourself to fall asleep. But you can't stop thinking about her. An idea comes to mind as you roll over and grab your phone. You scroll through your contacts and find Dani's name. You never had the heart to delete it. You're not sure if she still has the same number, or if she even has a phone at all. But you decide to give it a try anyway as you type out a text and send it before you can think twice.<p>

**To Dani: By the way, red really suits you -S**

You stare at the screen for a little while before giving up and turning over to try again at sleeping. Right as you're about to nod off, you hear your phone beeping and before you know it, you're scrambling to grab your phone and open the message.

_From Dani: I wanted something different. Change is good. :)_

You stare at the message for a little longer. It reminds you of that horrible day six months ago. You had told her you hated change. It makes you wonder if she is testing you, so you decide what to respond with.

**To Dani: Yeah. Change can be good. I'm starting to realize that.**

_From Dani: Are you working again tonight?_

**To Dani: Uh, nope. Why?**

She doesn't reply after that. Much to your disappointment. You were hoping she might suggest seeing each other again. But you shake it off. You need to keep your hopes down.

Giving up on sleep, you make your way into the living room and suppress a laugh as you see Rachel dressed in baggy sweats, hanging upside-down off the couch as she flips through the channels on the tv.

"If you keep sitting like that all the blood rushing to your head will make it look ten times bigger than it already does." You joke, coming up to sit next to her. Rachel glares at you and sits up.

"I'll have you know that my head it the appropriate size for a young woman my age and-" Rachel starts.

"Yeah, I stopped caring the moment you opened your mouth, Berry." You cut her off. Rachel rolls her eyes and goes back to flipping through the channels.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?" Rachel says after a while.

"What are you talking about, mini-Streisand?" You ask. Although the names you throw at her are less insulting than your days in high school, you still refuse to call her by her first name. Rachel ignores the name, already accustomed to your antics.

"Well, despite living together, I never see you anymore. And don't say it's because we're both busy. Even when we're both here, all you do is hide in your bedroom." Rachel explains. You feel your walls start coming up but are soon knocked down when Rachel looks up at you with her freakish doe eyes. "I miss you, Santana." she tells you. And you begin to feel guilty for neglecting your friends. You release a sigh and shake your head.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. After everything with Dani-" But she doesn't let you continue, putting her finger on your lips to stop you from talking.

"I know." She says simply, and then comes up close to you as she snuggles up to your side and rests her head on your shoulder. "I'm just glad you're here now."

You would kill anyone who spoke of this, but you've become quite the cuddler ever since moving in with The Wonder Twins. So as Rachel settles into you, you lean your head on to her's and watch the tv, happy to get your mind off of everything.

Not long after, Kurt comes in through the door. The moment he spots you, a wide smile appears on his face. He quickly sets his stuff down and sits down on your other side, stretching his thin body before leaning against you. You hate that you love them so much.

After a little while of the three of you watching a rerun of Friends, you break the silence and decide to ask your roommates about NYADA and Funny Girl. They both light up at the chance to talk about what they love and you begin to regret asking them as they launch into a seemingly endless dialogue of the latest news. But you're soon stopped by a knock at the door. You get up immediately, glad to have a break from the two. You make your way to the door, wondering who it could be. You weren't expecting anyone, and Kurt and Rachel hadn't mentioned anything. But as you open the door, you don't expect to see a smiling Dani on the other side.

"D-Dani!" You exclaim, a shocked smile on your face. "What are you doing here?" You ask, but are more than happy that she's here. You step back and motion her to come inside the loft.

"I just thought I'd stop by and visit, seeing as you weren't working." Dani says, stepping inside. Immediately you hear squeals come from the living room as Hummelberry run up to Dani and envelop her in a hug. You envy them as you watch the embrace. You wish you could be so free to hug her, but you know things are more complicated between you two.

"Oh my God it's so good to see you Dani!"

"We missed you so much!"

"Where have you been?"

"Oh my God you're hair!"

You roll your eyes and cross your arms as you watch the two verbally attack your ex.

"Calm your shit, you puppies. Or else you're going to make her want to turn right around and never come back!" You warn, sharing a smirk with Dani. Kurt and Rachel gawk at you in confusion. Probably wondering why you're not as surprised at Dani's appearance as they are.

"Oh, don't be a grouch Santana. They're just happy to see me. So am I." Dani says, giving Kurt and Rachel each another hug. The twins continue to stare at you questioningly.

"Dani stopped by the diner this morning. She's been travelling all around the world." You fill them in.

"Well, not quite the all around the world. But yeah, I'm glad to be back in New York. I've missed these stinky streets and crazy people." She jokes.

"Well, you must tell us everything!" Rachel exclaims, dragging Dani to the couch. We all make ourselves comfortable as she re-tells her adventures. You don't mind listening to them again. She could be talking about doing laundry and you would still listen.

Rachel is sitting between you and Dani, much to your annoyance. But you're not sure you could have handled sitting next to her without being able to touch her anyways. As Dani ends her last story, Rachel and Kurt both give each other a look before standing up from the couch, leaving just you and Dani to sit.

"Well, we would _love_ to stay and continue talking to you, Dani. But we have, um, something to do back at NYADA!" Rachel excuses lamely, giving you wink. "It was really nice seeing you. I hope you don't disappear on us again!" Rachel says before giving her one last hug before she and Kurt gather their stuff and head out the door. After watching them leave, you and Dani have nothing to focus on but each other now.

"I'm really sorry about them. They can act like excited puppies sometimes." You apologize.

"Don't worry about it, Santana. I really did miss them." She tells you. Another silence falls over the two of you. You hear Dani sigh as she closes her eyes for a moment. "And I really missed you, San."

Your heart flutters at her words. "Yeah. So did I. It killed me when you left." Dani's face falls a little at that, and you curse yourself for making that happen. But before you can say anything else, Dani clasps your hand and speaks.

"And it killed me too, Santana. So that's why I came back. I think...I think now we can be good friends." She tells you. And your frown deepens at the mention of 'friends'.

"Ye-yeah. Of course. Friends. I would like that." You tell her instead. But you'll take what you can get. You'd rather have her in your life as a friend than not at all. However you have every intention of changing her mind. But you won't push her.

"Good. Because I want you in my life, Santana Lopez." This makes you smile.

"Can you stay a little longer? I can put in a movie or something..." You suggest, pushing your luck.

"Yeah, a movie sounds good." She agrees. You get up off the couch, reluctantly letting go of Dani's hand as you find a movie to watch. You pick a movie you remember Dani liking before sitting back down on the couch as the movie starts. Ten minutes into the movie, Dani moves closer to you and grabs your hand again. This makes you extremely happy as you give her hand a light squeeze. Twenty-five minutes in, and Dani is snuggled up into your side. Your heart is pumping really fast and you hope she doesn't notice. You lean your head on hers and breathe her scent in. An hour in and she has her arms wrapped around you. She sighs in content before laying her head on your chest. You waste no time wrapping your arms around her, holding on to her as if she would disappear. As the movie ends, you feel your eyelids drooping, sleep finally catching up on you. You look down at Dani and see that she's already soundly asleep. Your heart melts at the sight of her peaceful face. You never thought you would see it again. Adjusting yourself slowly, you grab a blanket from under the coffee table and drape it over you two. You lean back, bringing Dani with you as she snuggles into your chest.

"Goodnight, Dani." You whisper softly, kissing her on the head before you close your eyes and fall asleep with the girl you thought you had lost back in your arms.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading! Please if you can, I'd appreciate your feedback. Do you like it? Hate it? Why? Also, do you think maybe it's a little too rushed? Please let me know. I just want to improve!<strong>

**I hope you liked Redvato! I really liked it and wanted to bring it back. And I hope no one minded the Pezberry friendship fluff. I enjoy their friendship. **

**And lastly, do you think I should continue or leave it there? I have ideas of where I can take this from here, but I don't want to drag it out too much! Would you like me to continue? I need your feedback on this one!**


	3. Fix A Heart

_Fix A Heart _

The first thing you notice when you begin to wake up is the ache in your body. The second thing you notice is the warm arms keeping you in place. You snuggle deeper into the warmth, cherishing it. You've missed this feeling. Strong arms protecting you from the world as you lose yourself in your dreams. A muffled moan comes from the person wrapped around you. Suddenly your eyes pop open in panic, finally realizing where you are. You're in Santana's loft, on her couch. In her arms. _Fuck. _You mentally berate yourself. You feel the panic rising in your chest, the arms around you feeling more like a trap instead of a warm embrace. You don't know what over came you last night, but you realize now that you've made a terrible mistake. But as you look up at Santana's face, you can't help but feel the panic dissipate in your chest. Her face is so peaceful, a small smile gracing her lips. You wonder if falling asleep at night these past months was as hard on her as it was for you. Sighing, you slowly extract yourself from your ex's arms, careful not to wake her. You hadn't intended to be so comfortable around her. Your plan was never to come running back into her arms. What she did all those months ago really hurt you, and it took you a long time for the pain to go away. You had looked for every distraction in all the corners of your travels, eager for new beautiful sights to wash the painful memories away. Yet you remember the time you were looking out from the Eiffel Tower at the breath-taking city beneath you, and all you could think of was how much more beautiful it would be with the Latina next to you. And it pained you even more.

You quietly make your way to your belongings, gathering it together for your escape. You take one last look back at the girl resting on the couch. You know you need to be more careful. You have to protect your heart this time. You're not exactly sure what it is you want from her, but you know that you need her in your life. Even if it is just as a friend. You hope Santana doesn't get the wrong idea, which makes you feel more guilty about last night. You don't want to lead her on. Despite how much pain she brought you with her infidelity, you can't bring yourself to wish the same on her. But you know your heart must come first. So if this doesn't end up working out, you can leave with as little damage as possible. At least you'll have some closure.

Slowly closing the loft door behind you, you make your way out into the brisk New York air. The sun has just risen, giving the city you love an incandescent glow. You really missed this city. You've been to many others on your travels. Paris, London, Berlin. All so amazing in their own right. But New York is your home. The place where everything fits into place.

Instead of going straight back to your place, you decide to make your way to a cafe not far off from the loft. You've been here many times before with Santana. It brings back bitter-sweet memories. Some of awkward first dates, to comfortably-silent coffee dates as you both grew accustomed to each others presence. You look up at the menu, no longer remembering what your usual was. You decide on a simple vanilla latte and wait for your order.

"One vanilla latte!" You hear your order being called. Just as you're about to reach out to grab it, another hand beats you to it. You're about to open your mouth and correct the person with your drink, but you are soon silenced when you notice who it is.

"Kurt!" You exclaim, not expecting to see him here. You did just leave his home not so long ago. He smiles at you and hands you your drink.

"Sneaking off again, I see." He jokes, then motions towards his already occupied table at the corner of the cafe for her to sit with him. You both make your way over and settle down.

"I-I just didn't want to wake anyone." You stutter, hoping Kurt won't push you anymore.

"Relax, I'm just bugging you," Kurt tells you and you do. You were never particularly close to the boy, but there was something about his energy that you've always liked, despite your occasional disagreements.

"So what are you doing here so early, Kurt? I thought you would still be asleep when I left."

"I had a phone date with Blaine before school started. I didn't want to wake anyone. You know how grumpy Santana and Rachel get when their sleep is disturbed. One of them will complain until your ears fall off about their 'vocals needing rest' while the other one will threaten your expensive collection of skin moisturizers and your first born!" Kurt jokes and you both laugh. A silence settles afterwards before Kurt speaks up again, "Dani, why did you come back?" He asks you. You know he isn't referring to New York. You let out a sigh.

"To be honest, I don't really know, Kurt. I knew I had to come back home some day. I couldn't keep on travelling for the rest of my life. But home didn't seem like home without you guys." You admit, not able to say her name specifically. But however much you missed Santana, Kurt and Rachel and even Elliot had been your friends also. You didn't have many to begin with before them. Everyday you had spent in a routine, trying to make ends meet. It was just work and your music. But these guys came along and you had never been happier. It was a bonus that they could sing, too.

"We're really glad to have you back, Dani. I hope you know that. It wasn't just Santana who was upset when you left. We were mad at Santana for days for what she did to you!" Kurt says, and immediately flinches. You know he must be regretting mentioning that day. You place your hand on his to reassure him.

"It's okay, Kurt. You don't have to be afraid to talk about it. I'm passed it." You assure him.

"I know what it's like you know, Dani. Having someone cheat on you. I never believed Blaine could have ever done something like that to me. Which is the worse part. You feel like you've been fooled, and you start to blame yourself. It takes a while to realize that it isn't your fault. And it takes even longer to be able to come to peace with it." Kurt reveals to you, much to your shock. You don't know much about Blaine. He came to visited briefly before you left New York. But from what you saw, you knew they were both so deeply in love. The way Blaine looked at Kurt, as if he was seeing fireworks for the first time, as if Kurt was the most precious thing in the world to him. You would have never of imagined him capable of ever hurting Kurt. But you had thought exactly the same towards Santana. You did go through a period of blaming your self. All of your insecurities surfaced. Was it because she wasn't skinny and naturally blonde like the other girl? Was she not desirable enough?

"And so you're still engaged to him?" You reply in disbelief, nodding your head towards his phone, in which he recently spoke to Blaine with.

"Oh, hun. This happened before we were engaged. We took some time off. But after awhile I realized that he and I, we are inevitable. I admit, I am more protective over my heart now, but I still have faith in him that he won't ever do that to me again. He's not that stupid." Kurt attempts at humour, but you are lost in thought. Was Santana your 'inevitable'? Was it only a matter of time before the two of you get back together? Was she being stupid in believing that this 'friendship' thing could work out?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kurt says, taking you away from your thoughts. You give him a smile.

"I'm thinking that this coffee would go really well with some donuts. Care to join me? It's my treat!" Kurt looks at you before deciding to let it to. He stands up and offers you a hand as he pulls you up, tucking your arm into his as the two of you make your way down the already busy streets of New York.

* * *

><p>It's five in the evening, and you're rushing through the streets towards the diner. You had spoken to Gunther not so long ago about getting your job back, which he grumpily gave you. But you could tell he really did want you back. Gunther always did have a soft spot for you, whether he chose to show it or not.<p>

As you enter the diner, a sense of home envelopes you. Despite your numerous complaints about the greasy diner smell and the ridiculous red uniform, you really had enjoyed working here. You were allowed to sing on the job, which is the best you could ask for right now. It sure beats the crowded bars at open mics and occasional gigs back in Europe. At least now you have a more reliable venue.

You make your way towards the back, putting away your things before coming back to the front.

"Santana! You are late!" You hear Gunther yell, and you feel your heart begin to pump faster. You didn't want an awkward confrontation with the Latina after sneaking off without saying goodbye the other day.

"Calm your tits, Gunth! It's not like this place is going to explode if I'm a few minutes late!" You hear her yell back, making you chuckle. Only the Latina could get away with yelling at her boss without being threatened to be fired.

Santana's head snaps towards your direction at the sound of your laugh and you see her eyes widen for a moment as they settle on you.

"D-Dani! I didn't know you were working here again." She stutters, and you start to find it endearing. She's like the Santana at the beginning of your relationship. A stuttering mess, not able to formulate full sentences.

"I just started today, actually. What made me decide to come back to this God-forsaken place, I have no idea." You joke, earning a small laugh from Santana.

"W-well. I'm glad you're back!" She tells you. She stares at you for a little bit, giving you a look much like a sad puppy. She seems as though she is deciding on saying something, and you begin to worry that she's going to ask you about the other day. But it never comes.

"I should get back to work. Don't want to push it with Gunther." She says, looking at to the ground, not meeting your eyes before making her way to the tables now filled with costumers. You know she's thinking about how you left her, and you begin to feel guilty. _Stop, Dani. Protect your heart first. _

You make your way to a table with costumer's waiting, ready to start your day back at The Spotlight Diner.

A few hours in, and you're already back into the rhythm of work. You're happily chatting the costumer's up, and actively avoiding Santana. You don't want another awkward encounter like earlier. But that doesn't stop you from noticing the glances she keeps sending your way. At first the looks were sad, still upset. But now she's just watching you. You start to feel a little self-conscious under her stare, but soon shake it off and learn to ignore them. A group of girls come into the diner and are seated. You make your way towards them, ready to take their order. You notice they're all around your age.

"Welcome to the Spotlight Diner! My name is Dani, I will be your server today." You recite, causing the girls to end their conversation and pay attention to you. One of the girl, a pretty brunette with short hair speaks up.

"I've never seen you here before. Are you new?" Her eyes quickly look up and down your body. You want to hide. "I would have come here more often I had seen you." The girl continues, her eyes boring into yours and a smirk on her lips. You know she's flirting with you, and you're a little flattered. Her friends snicker, shooting knowing glances at their friend. You can feel Santana's eyes on you.

"Sort of new! I use to work here awhile ago. Now I'm back here, after some travelling." You tell her, smiling back at her.

"What?! A pretty girl like you decides to come back to place like this? You deserve better! That uniform isn't doing your body justice." The girl says, continuing to blatantly flirt with you. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks, and you're not exactly sure how to respond. But you aren't given the chance to.

"Dani! Would you mind giving me a hand here? I'm sure those girls need some time to decide." Santana interrupts, coming towards you with her hands full of filled trays. The brunette girl gives Santana an annoyed look, but goes to look at the menu, but not without giving you a wink, only causing your cheeks to go redder. You hear someone clear their throat and look back to Santana. She is balancing three trays between her arms. Despite the uncomfortable position she looks in, you know well that a waitress is fully capable of serving three trays at once. Annoyance rises as you take a tray from her. Santana is not your girlfriend, and doesn't have any right to stop other girls from flirting with you.

"Thank you." Is all she says before walking towards the costumer's table. You follow behind her, suddenly eager for the shift to end.

* * *

><p>Twelve o'clock finally comes around and you all but run to get your stuff from the back and head out. But just as you're about to leave the staff room, the door opens and a tired looking Santana walks through. You hope to be able to avoid conversation and leave, but the Latina has other plans.<p>

"Wait, Dani. Please don't leave yet. I-I wanted to talk to you for a moment." She says nervously. You really don't want to have this conversation, but there's no escape now. You nod and wait for her to continue. She takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Look, the other day...I just wanted you to know that there's no pressure, okay? I don't expect anything from you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I'm just...I'm just really happy you're here. And that's enough for me." She tells you, a half smile on her face. Her words bring you relief. You're happy you hadn't given her the wrong impression the other night.

"Thank you, Santana. That really means a lot. I just missed you, San. I really mean it when I said I want us to be friends. I still do care about you, and I don't want to mess this up. And I'm relieved to hear you don't, either." You say. You know Santana's face falters for a moment before composing itself back into a cover up smile. You know she must still want you back as more than just a friend, but you're not ready for that. You're not sure if you ever will be. But as you look back at Santana, her beautiful eyes looking back at you, that one word comes back into your mind. _Inevitable_.

"Yeah...I really care about you too, Dani. And I promise I'll do everything not to mess things up again. Which reminds me. Earlier? With that girl? Totally not cool. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have cock-blocked you like that. It won't happen again." She tells you, and you smile. You start to feel hope that maybe this friendship could work out.

"Thanks, Santana." You say, before walking towards the door. "I better get going now, but I'll see you later, okay?" You tell her. You leave the diner and make your way back home, having survived your first day back at work.

* * *

><p>The next morning you are awoken by a text. You look at your phone and notice it's from Kurt. Santana must have told him you reactivated your old phone. You spoon in some cereal into your mouth and read the message.<p>

**From Kurt: Come over tonight! We have some special friends from Lima we want you to meet. It's going to be a partaaay!**

You laugh at the message and think about how you're going to respond. He said friends from Lima were coming, so does that mean Brittany will be there? You harbour no hate for the girl, but you're not sure you want to see her anyway. Surely Kurt wouldn't have invited you if he knew she would be there? You decide to think about it a little more and type out a response for now.

_To Kurt: Hey, thanks for the invite! Sounds like fun. Can I give you my answer later today?_

You put away your phone and get ready for your day, hoping to get some chores done. There isn't much to your apartment, the furniture is minimal and the decor almost none existent. You sold or gave away most of your belongs before the trip. One of the firsts things you did on your return was go shopping for new things to decorate. Your late grandmother had left you a small fortune after she died. Enough to buy you a decent, livable apartment and a little more for savings. It was small, but it was yours. You didn't have to deal with annoying, unreliable roommates or worry about meeting the rent every month.

Going through the boxes, you come across one from your storage. It was full of old photos and personal items you couldn't give away. You look through the picture frames, each one making you smile even more. Even the ones with Santana. There is one of the two of you in the diner, that day you had watched the sunrise and sang together. A coworker had unknowingly taken a photo of the two of you, claiming we were 'too cute not to'. You put the picture frame back in the box, not willing to throw it away but not ready to have it in your apartment yet. The next photo is of the band, Pamela Lansbury, at your first rehearsal singing 'Roar'. You wonder what ever happened with the band. You decide on putting this one up in your apartment and continue on.

* * *

><p>Some hours hours later and you're done unpacking for the day, having been slowed down with the all the dancing to the music you've been playing. You went out a few times to do some extra shopping, and are satisfied with a productive day of work. You suddenly remember that you needed to respond to Kurt about tonight. You find your phone an unlock it, seeing you have two unread messages<p>

**From Kurt: No problem! I hope you can make it. Come over at 8 if you decide to! **

**From Rachel: Danniii! You better come over tonight! We have tons of lost time to make up for! P.S, Brittany won't be there...**

She must be able to read your mind, having eased your worries of having an awkward encounter with the girl Santana cheated on you with. You knew that if you saw her, all your insecurities you had worked so hard on suppressing would come back, and you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from comparing you to her.

You look at the time. It's already seven, and you're still in your sweats and in need of a shower. You make a decision to go anyway, wanting to spend more time with your old friends. Santana will be there, but you think you'll be able be be around her without feeling awkward again after the conversation at the diner yesterday. You strip your clothes off and hop into the shower. Once you're done, you run into your room and look through your closest, wondering what to wear. You'll be meeting new people tonight, people who are close to your friends. You want to make a good impression. You don't want anything too over the top, though. You decide on a simple dark purple dress that fits your body nicely, accompanied buy your favourite leather jacket. Touching up on your make-up and fixing your hair, you're now ready to leave your apartment. It's already eight-thirty by the time you head out. You'll probably get there at about nine, but you know it won't be a problem. Once you make it to the loft and knock at the door, a sudden panic feeling starts in your chest. You're not entirely sure if you're ready to meet new people. But before you can back out, the door opens and you are met with a wide-grinning Rachel.

"Dannniiii! I'm soooooo happy you could make it!" She drawls out, stumbling over to give you a tight hug. You catch her before she can fall, and you can tell she's already drunk. She had always been such a lightweight. She pulls you into the loft, and you see everyone in the living room. Santana is the first to notice you, looking surprised to see you. Right beside her is a blonde you don't recognize, but who you know isn't Brittany. There are a few other people there. Kurt and Blaine are sitting on the couch, Kurt sitting on his lap. The blond boy with the big lips you remember being called Sam is there, too. And someone else you don't recognize, an African-American woman.

"Heeeyyy everyone! This is Dani! She's awesome and you're all going to love her!" Rachel introduces you, and then continues to pull you closer into the living room.

"Um, hi everyone! I know some of you, but I'm afraid I haven't met everyone." You say, looking at the two other girls you hadn't met yet.

"Nice to meet you, Dani. I'm Mercedes. I've heard a lot about you." One of the girls says. She's noticeably less drunk than everyone else, especially compared to Rachel who keeps bumping into you despite being in the same spot. The girl stands up and comes your way. You expect her to take out her hand to shake yours, but instead she pulls you into a warm hug. You give her a smile and look towards the blonde girl. She gets up as well, she's not as sober, and you notice that she doesn't look as happy to be here as everyone else. You wonder for a moment if this girl isn't going to like you, but she gives you smile that seems genuine and lightly pulls her arms around your shoulders, her arms feather-like. She holds herself with poise, despite being slightly buzzed. You can tell she was well brought up.

"It's a pleasure, Dani. My name is Quinn." She tells you. You're about to respond but Rachel comes stumbling closer, draping herself on Quinn. The blond instantly wraps an arm around her waste, keeping her from falling over.

"Quinn is absolutely amazing, Dani! You're going to love her! She's so smart and beautiful and just wait tell you hear her sing! Oh, that gives me an idea!" Rachel gushes, and you share an amused look with Quinn.

"If you're going to suggest me singing, then let me stop you right there Berry! It isn't going to happen." Quinn says, making Rachel pout. Quinn pointedly looks away, causing her to pout more.

"Fine! Then maybe Sam will!" Rachel says. You notice Quinn's face fall at the mention of Sam, but before you can be sure of it, it is gone. Rachel moves away from Quinn and stumbles towards Sam. The other blond drags the brunette down into his lap, causing her to squeal. This time you are sure of the sad look on Quinn's face as she watches them. You wonder if she has feelings for the boy, and you remind yourself to ask Santana or Kurt if there was anything going on between Rachel and Sam.

"Santana has been talking a lot about you tonight." Quinn says, reminding you of the Latina you still had to greet.

"Well, there isn't much to say about me, so I'm surprised." You joke, finally turning your head to look at Santana. She's caught in conversation with Mercedes, but she looks up at you and catches your look. She gives you a small smile before you both go back to talking.

"You should go talk to her. It would make her really happy." Quinn tells you, and then she leaves to the kitchen, coming back with a drink that she hands to you.

"But I warn you, she's a little tipsy." She says, then leads the way over to Santana. She notices you walking her way immediately and smiles wide at you.

"Dani!" She greets you, leaning forward to give you a big hug once you're sitting on the couch. She's practically on your lap but you hug her back anyway. She lets go of you and leans her face forward, for a split second you think she's going to kiss you, but instead she stops right next to your ear and whispers loudly, "Thanks for distracting Q! She's been mooning after Berry since she got here!" She says. You're confused for a moment until realization dawns on you. Suddenly the sad looks the blonde was giving Rachel made sense. They were the same ones Santana was giving you. You glance over to Quinn and see her looking at Rachel and Sam flirting in the corner. She hadn't heard what Santana had none too discretely whispered to you. You feel bad for her.

"Everyone, listen up! Sam and I are going to sing a duet, and you're all going to listen and love it!" Rachel yells to everyone, causing Santana to groan beside you. You look back at Quinn and see her visibly stiffen. The pair begins to sing, a song you recognize as Bruno Mar's "When I Was Your Man". The two are gazing at each other, swaying to the music. You watch as Quinn bolts out of the room to the fire escape, not being able to handle it. Mercedes follows after her. Rachel and Sam are too drunk to notice, and Kurt and Blaine are lost in a make-out session to notice either. You are suddenly aware of Santana's presence next to you, and internally groan. The song selection was a little too fitting for your comfort. You look back at Santana, her eyes are now focused on her lap, not wanting to make eye-contact. You take a long chug of your beer and sigh. You could tell it was going to be a long night.

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much for your support! Although I have no idea how you guys managed to read the last chapter, it was so full of mistakes! I went back and corrected as many as I could.<strong>

**Sorry this chapter was a little boring! I hope you guys managed to get some enjoyment out of it. I'm a little disappointed in it, but oh well. **

**I added some Faberry in there! Hope you guys don't mind. I think it's going to be a small sub-plot to the story. They're were my first OTP. 3**

**Please leave a review! It makes me very happy. :) **

**Oh, by the way I have a Tumblr! Follow me at: hersapphicgoddess . tumblr . com **


	4. Brown-Eyed Girl

_Brown-Eyed Girl_

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><p>It was well into the night and the party was still going on, music pumping in the background. Your mind is foggy from the alcohol and your legs are weak beneath you as you attempt to make your way out of the bathroom, failing to grab the doorknob on your first try.<p>

"Stop fuckin' moving you stuuuupid doorknob!" You curse at the inanimate object before finally getting a hold of it and pushing the door open. You stumble out and make it back to the living room. But as you're about to reach the couch you fall over and land face first on the couch cushions, legs spread awkwardly. You hear laughter behind you and you're about to tell the person off, but when you look behind you, you find Dani. You smile at her and narrow your eyes.

"Oh, that was funny to you, was it?" You say with mock anger. Dani just giggles more, making your heart swell. The girl has obviously gotten more drunk throughout the night.

"Maybeee. However, I'm quite enjoying the view!" Dani teases as she stares at your ass. You give her a fake scowl and turn over to face her. You smirk before lunging forward and pulling her down on the couch too. She squeals as she falls down on the couch with you on top of her. You're both giggling, the alcohol in full effect. Your eyes lock and you feel heat rising in your body at your closeness.

"Karaoke time!" Rachel says as she comes into the room, causing the two of you to pull apart. "Who's going to sing this time? Santana? Dani?" Suddenly, an idea comes to mind and you get up off the couch and grab the cheap microphone from Berry.

"If anyone's going to be singing any of those horrible songs from on that pathetic karaoke playlist, it should be me!" You proclaim, scrolling through the limited choices on the machine. One song catches your eye and you laugh out loud, knowing it'll be the song you'll sing. You're too drunk to wonder whether it's a good idea or not, and go ahead anyway. Dani is looking at you with curious eyes as the well-known opening music comes on. "This one goes out to a lovely lady in the audience today!" You say above the music. Dani instantly groans and hides her face in her hands. You look at the screen as the lyrics come up.

"Hey, where did we go  
>Days when the rains came?<br>Down in the hollow  
>Playing a new game,<br>Laughing and a-running, hey, hey,  
>Skipping and a-jumping" You begin, and turn to look at Dani, who has moved her head to peek up at you from behind her hands. You continue with the song. "Our, our hearts a-thumping. And you, my brown-eyed girl, you, my brown-eyed giiiiirl!" You belt, coming closer to Dani and taking her hand. She resists a little, but eventually lets you pull her up. Dani joins you for the next part, the song already at the chorus. "Do you remember when we used to sing? Sha la la la la la la la de dah! Just like that." As you finish the chorus, the two of you break out into hysterical laughter, arms cradling your stomachs. No longer able to finish, the song track continues in the background.<p>

"That song is horrible, San." Dani says, finally coming up from her laughter.

"Oh, come on. It's a hundred times sexier when I sing it." You joke and bite your lip. Dani looks at you for a moment and you think you see her eyes darken as she looks at your lips.

"Santana! You're supposed to _finish_ the song!" Rachel scolds, coming back into the living room after grabbing another drink from the kitchen. You turn and glare at Rachel, annoyed by her interruption.

"And you're supposed to stop drinking." You admonish and take the wine cooler out of Rachel's hand. "Shorties like you have low alcohol tolerance." She pouts and gives you a glare but lets it go. "I have to admit, you're better than the over-emotional drunk Q becomes when she drinks." You point out. Rachel might be more annoying and clingy when she drinks, but you'll take that over a crying drunk Quinn any day.

"Where is Quinn, anyway? She disappeared a little while ago and I haven't seen her since." Rachel enquires. It almost makes you sad that Rachel is so oblivious to the blonde's feelings. While she's been off flirting with Trouty Mouth all night, the blonde has been sulking.

"She just stepped outside for some fresh air. I'll go find her." You say and turn back to Dani. You give her a weak smile, which she returns in understanding. You hand her the cooler as you walk out onto the fire escape where you see the blonde standing alone, smoke coming from the cigarette in her hand.

"I didn't know you smoked." You say as you move to stand next to her.

"It's a habit I picked up from my pink hair phase. I don't do it that often anymore." She tells you as she puffs out another cloud of smoke.

"Not that I care or anything, but Berry would have a fit if she found out you were ruining your lungs with that." You say watching Quinn's reaction at the mention of Rachel. Her face is unmoving as she takes another drag from her cigarette.

"Fortunately, Berry doesn't have any control over whether I destroy my body or not." Quinn replies coolly, and you roll your eyes at her attempt at indifference.

"Oh, please. Don't pretend like you wouldn't love for the hobbit to own your ass if it meant you got to make out with her." You tell her. She shoots you a glare, but you don't back down. You cross your arms and give her your signature eyebrow raise. The blonde sighs and shakes her head, defeat finally showing in her eyes.

"Look, it's not like it matters. She's with Sam now, isn't she?" She almost hisses, and the part of you that has a heart actually feels bad for her.

"Last time I checked, the midget was still single. Nothing but some annoying flirting between the two. Honestly, it makes me want to puke." You say, hoping to lift her spirits.

"It's not like I have a chance anyway, Santana! As far as we know, she's straight!" Quinn almost yells, her eyes burning into you.

"Have you even asked her, Quinn? Do you even know how she feels? Because I'm sure she thinks the same way about you." You shoot back. "Jesus, Q! Look at you! You've become a pathetic mess of the girl you were. The Quinn I know was the head bitch in charge, and she didn't let anything stop her." Quinn just shakes her head and looks out at the city.

"I'm not that girl anymore, Santana. I don't want to be her anymore." She whispers.

You can't believe that you're actually doing this, but push on anyway. "Listen, Fabray. I don't know if Berry is straight or gay or both or if she's actually an Australian chimpanzee in disguise! Which I wouldn't be surprised by, to be honest," Quinn shoots you a look wanting you to get to the point, so you continue, "My point is, the only person Rachel Berry thought more highly of than herself, is you. So get your shit together, stop being this sorry ass excuse for a person, and get back in there!" Quinn looks back at you her face showing the thought process she was going through before finally giving up her resistance.

"Thanks, San." The blonde says before giving you a hug. You hug her back and you hear her say something into your ear, "Now follow your own advice." She moves away and goes back inside the loft. Sighing, you lean back onto the barred fence, looking out at the city. You feel a little more sober now. You hear someone come out onto the fire escape behind you and stand next to you. It's Dani.

"That was very nice of you, San." She says her voice revealing surprise. You internally wince. Does Dani really only see you as a cold-hearted person? You turn to face her as she brings her hand to rest on your cheek. She breaks into a smile and pinches your cheek between her fingers. "You softy! You actually do care. It's so cute!" She says causing you to roll your eyes.

"So you were eavesdropping on us?" You accuse giving her a playful glare.

"What else was I suppose to do? Kurt and Blaine are making out in Kurt's bedroom, Sam is passed out on the couch, Mercedes is out too, and Rachel's too drunk to have intelligent conversation with." Dani defends.

"Sounds like this party's ending." You say feeling sleepiness catch up to you.

"Yeah, I really should be getting home." Dani says, but her body doesn't seem to agree. She makes no move to leave; instead, she stares at you intensely. Time seems to stop around you, and you're not sure if it's the alcohol or if Dani really was leaning forward. You feel the tension between the two of you, and this time you know she moves closer. Her eyes droop, giving you a sultry look, and you feel the heat rise inside you. You swallow unable to take the separation anymore, and move your hand to grasp hers.

"Dani..." You whimper, looking at her pleadingly. She pauses for a moment, her intoxicated thoughts meshing together. And before her sober thoughts can catch up with her, she leans her face closer to you, cupping your your cheek. She looks down at your lips and back up to your eyes. You think you must have stopped breathing waiting to see what happens next.

"Shhh." She whispers, stopping you from talking anymore. You can smell the sweet alcohol on her lips as you both lean in.

"Daaaanniii! Your taxi's here!" Rachel yells causing you to groan as Dani pulls away. She looks at you softly, giving you an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I forgot I asked Rachel to call me a taxi. I'll see you at work, okay?" She says, before giving you one last look as she steps back into the loft. You stay out on the fire escape for a little longer, leaving yourself to your thoughts. Dani was going to kiss you. You're sure of it. You internally curse Rachel for interrupting, but a part of you wonders if kissing Dani would have been a good idea. She wasn't in her right mind, and might have regretted it in the morning. You couldn't take any chances. You wanted to get to know this Dani more, and have her get to know you, too. You both jumped into the relationship so fast last time, and although you don't regret any of it, you do wish you had taken the time to get to know each other better. You had fallen in love with her too quickly, and that scared you. With Brittany, it had been slow. You were best friends first. You had years to fall in love with her. You wonder, for a moment, if you still love Dani. It had crushed you when she left. It took you months to establish some form of normality in your life. And you know that when Dani came back into your life, everything you had bottled up came bursting out and you realized you never did get over her. But does that constitute love? Do you still love her?

You shake your thoughts away and decide not to think about it anymore. You have to think step by step, and you remember that Dani never told you that she loved you back. You feel a twinge in your heart at the thought of Dani never loving you. You would have given her the world. She had you wrapped around her finger, and she knew it, not that you would ever admit to that. Finally feeling the cold, you walk back inside the loft. Everyone is asleep. Even Rachel had retired into her room with Mercedes. You walk into your own room and see a blonde curled up in your bed, tears slipping out of her eyes as she sleeps. Sighing, you strip and change into your pajamas and slip into the bed next to her. Before you can fall asleep, you hear a small whimper come from Quinn. You grunt, not wanting to have to deal with a crying Q in your bed all night. You flip over to face her, and wrap your arm around the blonde, pulling her body closer. She snuggles closer into you, and you both take comfort in each other's bodies, wishing for another girl's arms to be wrapped around you as you let sleep wash over you.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry this was so crappy. I was having a lot of difficulties writing it. Hopefully I can write you guys a better chapter next time. Thanks for reading and please remember to let me know what you think!<strong>

**Also, a BIG thank you to Trust . Hope . Love for reading this over. This chapter would have been unreadable if it wasn't for her! Go and check out her Dantana fanfics!**

**And shout-out to the guests who suggested I have Santana sing to Dani!**

**Also it didn't show up last time, but if you're interested my Tumblr is: hersapphicgoddess . tumblr . com **


	5. My Love's Like a Star

_My Love's Like a Star_

The traffic at the diner begins to speed up as lunch quickly approaches. You've been here long enough to have gotten back into your old rhythm. You busy yourself with the steady repetition of your job, thankful for the distraction. You were never any good at turning your mind off, each small thought spun a web that entrapped your mind till you succumbed to their will. So you couldn't allow yourself to think of her. You wouldn't let yourself think about coming so close to kissing her the other night. Thinking of her would only lead to loving her. And that, you could not afford to do. You had to protect your heart, whose fragile heartstrings you've just managed to sew back together. This time you weren't going to give her the scissors.

So you pull yourself back into work, and you find yourself genuinely enjoying your time as you talk with the costumers. Everyone has their own story unique to themselves. They all have their own heartbreaks and sorrows. The things that make them smile when they're alone and break down crying in public despite every fiber of their being telling them to keep it together. We're all like the stars in the sky, each beautiful in it's own right. But we neglect to appreciate what makes the others shine so brightly. You had promised yourself a long time ago that you would map your sky with as many stars as you could.

As you come out of the kitchen after giving an order, two girls walk in to the diner. You instantly recognize the brunette and the blonde, if not by their appearances, then certainly by their banter.

"S, why the hell are you bringing me to this greasy diner? I was fucking happy sleeping in bed." You hear Quinn grumble. Santana gives her a glare and raises her eyebrow.

"This 'greasy diner' is where I work Q, so don't you dare say shit about it." The brunette bites back. Quinn shrugs, not really caring if she offended the Latina. You internally laugh at the brunette, knowing full well that Santana hated this place. "Now, if you would stop your pathetic whining for a moment, you'll know that I brought you here because I'm tired of seeing your sorry ass moping around the loft. I get that you're all hot for Berry for some reason that makes me seriously consider having your mental stability checked, but I've had enough! We're not spending your last day in New fucking York cooped up in that loft while you moon over the Barbara Spawn!" Santana huffs, finally completing her speech. You've always been impressed by the Latina's ability to rant so honestly. Quinn looks ready to retort, but spots you staring at them. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment, but you decide you might as well make your presence known now.

"Hey, guys! At of all the places you choose to spend your last day in New York, you decide to come here? I guess you can't get enough of me can you?" You joke, causing Santana eye's to widen and look everywhere but you. You internally curse your self for being so brazen.

"I, uh. Hi Dani! I just wanted to show Q where I worked before she left. Though we might as well have lunch, right Q?" Quinn looks around the diner with mild intrigue, quickly surveying the place. From what you've gotten to know about Quinn, you could tell she was brought up with high standards. A place like this would be the last pace she would have dined in back in Ohio, you assumed. Regardless, the blonde takes a seat and Santana does the same. You pull out your pad and wait for their order, Santana filling Quinn in on what not to order here. You have to admit, the presence of the Latina makes you a little nervous. You had wanted to distance your self from her for a little bit before things got too complicated. Of course fate would have it that she wouldn't have her way. Or maybe it was just Santana's doing, surely she had an idea that you would be working today?

The two girls decide on their order and you quickly leave to the kitchen. You stay there as long as possible, trying to think of anything other than your ex in the diner outside. However your time runs out as the cook hands you their order, and you are left with nothing else but to go back to them. The sight that meets you is not one you would have expected. The blonde's normally composed face has fallen; tears threaten to fall as she looks at Santana with a weak smile. The Latina holds her hands firmly in her own in comfort. You wanted to give them a moment without intruding, but the blonde spots you nearby and immediately sits up, taking her hands away from Santana's. The brunette turns to look at you approaching and a smile crosses her face. You smile back and leave them as you return to the other costumers. But despite all effort, you spend a lot of your time looking at the two girls. You can't help but wonder about their friendship. You've heard a fair amount of stories about them in high school. About their constant rivalry and backstabbing. But despite that, you know they have a very strong bond. And you can't help noticing that as you observe them. You note a lot of touching between the two. You remember Santana telling you when you were dating about sleeping with one of her supposedly straight best friend at her teacher's failed wedding. As you begin to connect the dots, you can't help but start to feel something strange as you see the two interact. You try to shrug it away, but you can't ignore the slight lurch in your heart as you see ex lay her hand on Quinn's arm. You busy yourself back into work until you see the two girls leave their table and approach you. You give them a smile, only partially forced.

"Hey, Dani. I was just wondering if you wanted to come join us later to go watch Rachel in Funny Girl? I know you haven't seen her in it yet and Quinn wanted to see it one more time before she left." Santana says shyly, your heart warming as you see the normally bold Latina turn timid when speaking to you, and anything negative you might have felt earlier fades.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'd love to." You tell her before you can think of an excuse to back out. The smile Santana gives you is enough to make you forget your plan to distance yourself for the moment.

"Cool, well, show starts seven! The ticket will be under your name." She tells you, then makes her way out of the diner with Quinn. You're left staring at her as she leaves, letting out a sigh as she exits the diner. And that's when you know you're in trouble.

* * *

><p>It's fifteen minutes before seven when you arrive at the theatre. Your eyes explore the place in awe as you take everything in. You're proud of Rachel. She achieved her dreams before she even reached twenty, which is more than you could ever say. You make your way towards the ticket booth and give them your name. You're given your ticket and proceed towards the theatre. You find your seat and find that your group is already seated. Santana flashes you a smile and pats the empty seat next to her. On the other side of her you see Quinn, and you don't know why that bothers you.<p>

"Rachel already made Kurt and I come watch her a billion times, so excuse me if I fall asleep." Santana jokes and you laugh, hitting her playfully on the shoulder. Before you can respond, the lights go dark, signaling the audience be quiet as the show starts.

You have to say you're quite impressed with Rachel. She takes over the stage with her presence as she becomes a whole new person, and you can't help but admire that. How much you envy the opportunity to forget everything and lose yourself in another character. You wish you had the luxury of being someone else, even for a few hours. Save you from the constant thought plaguing your mind.

You glance next to you and the first thing you notice is Quinn firmly clenching Santana's hand as she stares up at Rachel on stage. A part of you wants to slap her hand away, but you stop yourself. You have no ownership over Santana. You closed that chapter a long time ago and she was free to do what ever she wanted.

The play draws to an end as the cast goes for their curtain call. You all make your way towards the lobby and gather together, everyone buzzing in conversation.

"So, what did you think?" Santana asks you as she makes her way closer to you.

"It was beautiful! I'm so proud of Rachel. Thank you for inviting me." You tell her, giving her a genuine smile.

"I'm glad you came," She responds, pausing for a moment before asking her next question. "So, the rest of us are going to head back to the loft and have some drinks. Do you maybe want to join us?" She asks, looking almost hesitant for your response. You can't think of a plausible reason not to as you agree to join them, your heart melting at the smile Santana gives you. You hate yourself for feeling this way. Despite everything, you still find yourself looking for the Latina's smile.

Once Rachel comes out, you greet her and praise her performance. Once all pleasantries are done you all make your way towards the loft, chatting rapidly about the performance. Mainly the latest gossip on what actor was hooking up with whom and who is was rumoured to be leaving the show. Kurt and Blaine fit into the conversation easily, leaving a confused Sam to pretend to follow along. Quinn and Santana seem disinterested in the conversation. You make it back into the loft and everyone mutually agrees that pizza would be a good idea. Rachel leaves the room to order in as everyone settles down, a wine glass in hand. You're sitting across from Santana and Quinn. You notice the two have been attached to the hip today, not that that should bother you. They're old friends, after all.

"So, Dani. I heard you just came back from travelling Europe. I envy you _so_ much." Quinn tells you, starting up conversation.

"I did! Did you want to go yourself?" You ask her. Rachel makes her way back into the room, having finished ordering food.

"I've always admired London fashion. I would love to go there one day." Quinn tells you, looking around the room. "However, the fashion in New York I appreciate, too. San, you're killing it in that dress." She continues, giving Santana a once over. You don't notice your hands clench at the blondes words, but you do notice the smirk the your ex gives Quinn.

"Careful, Quinn. The last time you said that my dress ended up on the floor of the hotel." Santana shoots back, then her head immediately shoots up and a look of shock at her own words follows. You're earlier assumption is confirmed and now you know you don't like what you're feeling. The room goes silent. Quinn looks horrified. Blaine and Kurt look equally disgusted, and Sam's face looks uncomfortable as he adjusts his jeans. Typical boy. But what surprises you is the look of shock and anger on Rachel's face.

"You slept with Quinn!?" Rachel finally bursts, standing up and coming closer to Santana. Santana lifts her hands in front of her and backs up, but is ready to retort. However she isn't given the chance as Rachel quickly zeros in on Quinn instead. "How could you sleep with her!? How come you didn't tell me!?" Rachel asks Quinn, her voice betraying hurt. Quinn looks uncomfortable as she refuses to meet Rachel's eyes.

"I don't know why you're so upset, Rachel. You don't own me. I can sleep with whoever the fuck I want!" Quinn snaps back coldly, glaring at the singer. Rachel looks taken aback, before she composes herself. She looks around the room quickly, noticing the uncomfortable stares witnessing the scene.

"R-right, yeah. It's none of my business. I'm sorry, it doesn't matter." Rachel apologizes. But she gives Quinn one last look before continuing. "I just thought we were closer than that." She finishes; still the blonde does not look at her. And just in that moment a knock at the door interrupts, saving them all from the awkward situation. You notice Santana give you a look, but you will yourself not to look back. Everyone settles into lighter conversation, the tension from before forgotten.

As the night progresses the group covers all kinds of topics. Kurt and Blaine's approaching engagement being one of them. But you don't pay attention to the conversation. All you notice is the blatant flirting going on between the blonde and the brunette, and it infuriates you to no end. You know you're not alone in your discomfort. Rachel is not subtle with her glaring. You're more discreet. At least you believe you are. When Quinn leans forward to whisper into Santana's ear, you decide you've had enough of this torture and you leave the loft. You make your way towards the door at the end of the hall and open it, walking up the stairs that leads to the roof. Santana had showed you this place when you had been dating. It had quickly become one of your favourite places, both of you spending many nights up there become better acquainted with each other. Both emotionally and physically, you remember.

Once outside you let out a frustrated breath. You're livid. But not at the scene happening inside. No, you're mad at yourself. You told yourself countless times you wouldn't allow yourself to fall for Santana again. You wanted to be friends with her. You shouldn't have had the reaction you did.

You're lost in your thoughts at you stare up at the black sky; wishing you could see the stars in the sky through all the light pollution. You've always had a love for stars. It was almost like a comfort to you. You remembered how they would shine so brightly back in the small town you're from. They were like a safety blanket to you as you walked the streets alone at night, bright lights watching over you from above. You feel yourself missing your old home again.

"Are you trying to look for the stars?" A voice says behind you, startling you out of your reverie. Santana. You nod and give her a smile in welcome.

"They're not there. It's just black." You say with a shrug.

"They're still there, Dani. You might not always be able to see them, but they're always there." Santana explains, looking at you meaningfully. You look down at the city and smile, a small bit of comfort coming back. Santana looks to the ground in embarrassment. "Th-that was stupid. I don't know why I said that." Santana mumbles, and you look back at her.

"No, it's not stupid. It's true." You say. She gives you a small smile.

"Do you miss the stars, too?" She asks. You nod your head.

"Yeah, I do. It makes me miss home even more, to be honest." You admit to her. Her head tilts to the side and her brow furrows in question. You can't help the butterflies that you feel in your stomach at the sight.

"You never told me you missed your old home. You were always so confident in your decision to leave." She tells you, and you nod in understanding. There was a lot you had kept from Santana when the two of you dated. Santana had known the confident Dani, not that you blamed her. That's what you wanted everyone to see. You wanted the world to know that you were alright, that you had everything together. Maybe if you were able to convince everyone else, you might be able to convince yourself that. Santana looks at you at you with caring eyes, shining in the light of the city. They compel you to be honest with her.

"That's what I wanted you to believe. I didn't want you to think I was weak." You admit to her. She gives you a sad smile and grabs your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"That isn't weak, Dani. That's human." Her thumb rubs back and forth on the top of your hand. It makes you smile. That action, no matter how small, spoke so many volumes. It showed so much care and love, more than a simple handhold did. You make the decision to lay down on the ground, bringing the Latina down with you. She squeaks in surprise as she falls down next to you, your hands still entwined. A giggle bubbles from your throat as you look at her; she lets out a huff and glares at you.

"Thanks for the warning." She says sarcastically, causing you to laugh even more.

"You squeaked! You actually made a sound that resembles a-a scared bunny!" You tease, causing her to scowl even more.

"Oh, nuh-ah! I will _not _be compared to that pathetic vermin!" She retorts, not helping your laughing situation.

"Hmm, I don't know about that Santana. I think you're just as cute as a bunny." You joke, bopping her nose with your finger. She bats your hand away.

"I am not cute! Sexy, definitely. Scary, hell yeah! But Santana Lopez is _not_ cute." She informs you seriously, her small smile giving her away.

"Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?" You ask in disbelief. She gives you a glare and shoves your shoulder. You smile and mutter something about her being adorable, which Santana does not argue this time. A silence falls between you as you look up at the endless black sky. Santana breaks the silence after a few moments.

"Have you thought about going back?" She asks, and you assume she's referring back to your old conversation about missing home.

"I've thought about it, yes. Not that it would make a difference. I can't go back." You tell her despondently.

"Have you tried contacting your parents again? I know their d-bags and all, but maybe they've changed. Maybe they're wondering where you are but have no way of reaching you." She continues, much to your discomfort. You start to feel a tightness in your chest that you recognize all to well. Your body becomes tense and your breathing speeds up, the panic quickly enveloping you. You can't think about your parents. You've been so good at keeping those thoughts locked away. Nothing good ever comes from thinking about them. Santana notices your change in behavior and quickly turns on her side to face you. "Hey, Dani. You're okay. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid of me. But you're okay, you're here, with me." Santana tries to reassure you. Your eyes clench shut as you feel the waves of panic wash over you. You hold Santana's hand tightly and you try to focus on breathing. You feel Santana's hand caressing you face, her fingers moving to push your hair back. Normally someone touching you while you're having a panic attack would make things worse, but Santana's touch is soft and caring and you focus on her gentle fingers as they graze your cheek. It grounds you, and you begin to feel yourself calm down. After a little while, your breath begins to even out. Santana's hand runs through your hair steadily, her ministrations relaxing you. You peak open your eyes and find her staring back at you, giving you a concerned look.

"Hey." You say timidly, embarrassed at what occurred.

"Nice to have you back." Santana replies, her hand back on your cheek. She stays there for a moment, and you allow her. She then moves her hand away and resumes her position next to you. "I'm sorry." She apologizes, her voice full of guilt.

"Don't worry about it." You tell her honestly. This wasn't the first time Santana had witnessed you in that state. But you're glad she's never seen you at your worst. "I need to be able to talk about them. It isn't healthy keeping it in." You tell her. She gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"When you're ready. I'll be here for you." She tells you. And you believe her.

"I miss them." You confess to her. Despite your earlier panic, you find yourself more comfortable talking about it now. She gives you a reassuring look and waits for you to continue. "They were strict and they were harsh, but they were, I mean, are. They're my parents. And I loved them anyways. They just had a different way of loving me." You hear Santana scoff.

"They have a really fucked up way of showing it." Santana grits out, her protective nature showing.

"I have a little brother, you know." You change the subject, surprising Santana.

"You never told me that." She says in shock.

"Yeah, he must be...almost ten now." You count the years in your head, sadness over missing your little brother grow up apparent.

"What's his name?" Santana asks, catching on to your obvious fondness for your little brother.

"Michael." You tell her, the name heavy on your tongue. It has been awhile since you said his name out loud. "But, I called him my little monkey." You tell her, a sad smile on your face. "When he was born, his ears were so big and his face was all wrinkly, I asked my mother if she was sure I hadn't mistaken him for a monkey's baby." Santana laughs but a small tear rolls down your cheek at the memory. Santana notices it and leans her hand forward to wipe it away. "He's a special kid. He was so smart and caring. I hope the world hasn't hardened his lovely heart." You sigh, your longing for your brother growing stronger. "I just. I just want him to know that I still love him and think about him everyday. That even if he can't see it, my love for him is always there. Just like the stars."

"You're going to see him again." Santana tells you, no question in her voice. "You're going to see him again and you're going to tell him all that yourself."

"Okay." You agree with her, a small smile on your face, although you do not share the Latina's confidence.

"Glad we agree." The brunette finishes. Another silence ensues. But it isn't awkward. It's comfortable. And despite your sorrow, you feel a certain kind of happiness at finally being able to talk about your family.

"Hey, Dani?" Santana breaks the silence again.

"Mhm?"

"You don't have to answer, but... Why were you jealous of Quinn and I's closeness earlier?" Santana stumbles out, and you immediately freeze. You thought you had kept your feelings hidden, but obviously the Latina had caught on. Not knowing what to say, you decide to remain silent. Hoping the Latina wouldn't question you further. After a few moments of no response, the brunette realizes you aren't going to answer her. You feel her get up from beside you and hear her mumble something about being cold. As she begins to walk a way, your thoughts come rushing forward. You had been so open and honest with Santana today. More than you even were when you were dating. And she had been there for you. She didn't judge, or mock you. She listened. And it felt good to have someone to talk to. You find yourself on your feet and rush towards the Latina.

"Santana!" You call out to her, grabbing her hand to cease her movement. The brunette turns and gives you a quizzical look, but before she can say anything your lips collide with hers. The kiss is brief. But it's just enough. Her lips are soft and mold against you so perfectly in that short moment, you feel as if they were made specifically to kiss you. You pull away and give her a small smile.

"Thank you." Is all you say before opening the door and leaving Santana on the rooftop to put together what just happened. Yeah. You are _so_ in trouble.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey hi hello! I like stars and every time you leave a review a new star is put into the sky. :)<strong>

**Sorry about the wait, I lost motivation to write for a little while there. Didn't feel like anyone was really interested and I just could never get into the mood to write. But it is a proven fact that if writers write 10543432X faster if you leave feed back! Really, it means the world to me if you do!**

**Anyways, a HUGE thanks to my friend SparkyBraginsky for beta-ing this chapter and to .Love for helping me with ideas. :)**


	6. One Wish

_One Wish_

They didn't talk about the kiss. Three weeks had passed and there had been no acknowledgement of the moment you had shared with her. You'd almost believe it didn't happen if it wasn't for the shy looks Dani kept sending your way during the night. It's not that you didn't want to talk about it, you did. But you knew you couldn't push her. So instead you spent every waking moment over-analyzing that night on the roof top till your head started hurting. You didn't know what to make of it. Dani had opened up to you in a way that she never did while the two of you were dating. The past was never something she would talk about. You had respected that and had given her the space. Realizing how little you actually knew about your then girlfriend startled you. You had been so convinced you were in love with her, yet only knew one part of her. There was so much to Dani you didn't know yet, but you planned on changing that. You wanted to love every single side of Dani if she'd allow it.

Despite countless hours of tearing apart what had happened, you still can't fathom why Dani had kissed you that night on the rooftop. Was she giving you a second chance? God, you hoped so. Still, you didn't want to keep your hopes up. Was it merely an act of appreciation for letting Dani open up to you? She didn't need to thank you for being there for her. If anything, you should be thanking her for trusting you. Each and every piece of Dani's mind you cherished as gold, and kept closely in your pocket. It was an honour to hold her thoughts in the palm of your hand, so easily could you close your hand and crush everything, yet she trusted you to keep her inner secrets safe. At least this one time.

You had decided you weren't going to jump to any conclusions. You were going to follow Dani's lead, and see where she took you. You had to tread carefully as you tried to repair what you had between you and Dani. Each building block placed could break the fragile structure of trust that was starting to form.

You're working at the diner today, however you share a shift with Dani so having to work wouldn't be so bad, if it meant you got to spend it with her. Working with the red head had been great, and you like to think she feels the same way. Despite not speaking of the kiss, Dani has been friendly and receptive to you these past three week. The two of you had engaged in countless friendly banter, and on more than one occasion the two of you had to be reminded to get back to work.

You wrap your apron around your hips, grab your notepad and head out of the break room to begin your shift. Dani had yet to arrive, making you a little antsy. You make your way to a table and take a couple's order when Dani rushes in. She moves right past you and doesn't spare you a glance as she makes her way to the break room. You're concerned for a moment, but brush it off, assuming the red head is merely worried about being late. Dani emerges from the back, notepad in hand. You're about to greet her but are not given a chance as she dives right into work. You're upset at her disregard for you, and begin to worry that you have done something wrong. The first thing you notice about her are the dark circles beneath her eyes. The second thing you notice is the smile that you know is forced. You've spent a lot of time observing her before, you consider yourself an expert in the language of Dani's expressions. Every little quirk of the lips and movement of eyebrow tells you a story, and this one is telling you there is something wrong with her.

Hours go by and Dani has yet to even look at you, successfully avoiding each attempt you make at eye contact. You're worried she's upset with you, and search your memory for any reason she might be. There isn't anything that comes to mind. Things have been great between you too. There must be something else bothering her.

Lunch time rolls around, and you've finally had enough. Dani scurries away into the lunch room, and you follow. You open the door only to barely miss slamming into the red head as she tries to make an escape out the door. Dani looks at you with wide, panicked eyes as she registers who she almost bumped into. She backs up a few steps and you walk forward, shutting the door and blocking the way behind you. Dani's eyes dart towards the door and back at you. You feel bad for cornering her like this, however your need to figure out what's bothering Dani exceeds your guilt.

"Santana, what are you doing? I need to go buy my lunch." Dani protests.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong, Dani." You press, not leaving your place in front of the door.

"I don't know what you're talking abo-" Dani starts but you immediately cut her off.

"Cut the crap, Dani. You've been avoiding me all day and I'm suppose to believe that there's nothing wrong?" You interrupt, Dani giving you a pained look, willing you not to continue. "Did...did I do something wrong? I don't get it, I thought things were going well between us..." You continue, your voice wavering in insecurity that you hate. Dani's eyes widen and she shakes her head vigorously.

"No! No, you did nothing wrong Santana, I promise." Dani quickly tries to reassure you.

"Really? Then what's actually going on, Dani. Because something is obviously upsetting you." Dani releases a sigh at your words and runs her hand through her hair. She gives you a defeated look that makes you want to wrap her in your arms and protect her from the world.

"I called my family." She confesses, looking at the ground. You move closer to her and hesitantly place a supporting hand on her shoulder, hoping she won't pull away.

"Oh, Dani. What happened?" You ask, rubbing up and down her arm when she doesn't move away.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. That's the thing! I call, and I hear his voice, my little brother's voice and I just...I just choke, I couldn't say anyth-thing!" Dani reveals, her voice tightening as tears smell up in her eyes. You can't stand it. Seeing her in pain and not being able to do anything hurts you. You decide to move closer to her and place your left hand on her other shoulder, encouraging her to continue.

"Just hearing his voice that I had missed so much. I-I couldn't. I just listened to him ask who it was again and again until he gave up.," Dani continues, "It reminded me that he's growing up without me. He must be forgetting about me. He's my little monkey, a-and it k-kills me to know that I w-won't be apart of his life." She finishes, her body begins to shake and she lets out a sob. You can't take this anymore. You close the distance and wrap your arms around her securely. You feel her nuzzle into your neck and your heart melts. You wish you could take her pain away, but instead all you can do is let her cry as you gently rock her back and forth.

After some time has passed, her sobs slow down and is reduced to a few sniffles. She moves out of your embrace and gives you a weak smile.

"Thank you." She tells you, wiping at her eyes.

"You don't have to thank me for comforting you, Dani. That's what friends are for, right?" You say, giving her a smile in return.

"Yeah, but still...thank you." You roll your eyes playfully.

"Now, back to the situation at hand. Here's the plan, you call your family again, this time with me around so you don't wuss out, and you actually talk to them." Dani gives you and incredulous look which you only challenge with an eyebrow raise. "Look, Dani. Everything you said earlier? About your brother growing up without you? That's going to happen if you don't do anything about it." You point out.

"It's not that easy, Santana. My parents, they won't want me any where near my little brother. Afraid I'll corrupt him." Dani spits out.

"Do you want to see your brother again or not?" You ask bluntly, getting to the point. Dani stares at your for a few seconds before answering.

"Yes. Of course I do."

"Then call. Who knows what your parents will say? Take a chance or you'll never see your little monkey again." You say and she finally smiles and gives you a nod.

"You're right. Thanks, San." She moves closer and gives you a quick squeeze. "So, are you free after work then?" She asks you and you nod, more than happy to spend more time with her.

"Yeah, of course. I always have time for you. You're not getting out of this call that easily." You tease. Looking up at the clock you groan, noticing that the lunch hour is up and you haven't eaten. It looks like you'll have to spend the last hours of your shift hungry. But it's worth it if it meant being there for Dani.

* * *

><p>Three hours later and your shift finally ends, much to your relief. You and Dani had spent the last hours complaining about hunger, but your ex's mood had none the less improved from earlier. You gather your things and wait for Dani, who's taking her time to slowly bring her belongings together.<p>

"Dani, stop stalling. I'm hungry and you have a phone call to make." Dani rolls her eyes and slings her bag over her shoulder and makes her way out the door. The two of you walk in comfortable silence, Dani's face occasionally scrunching up in thought, thinking about the call no doubt. You reach her apartment and she opens the door.

"After you, m' lady." Dani says while holding the door open for you with a smile. You laugh and nudge her with your shoulder.

"You dork." You mutter and she playfully slaps you.

"I am no such thing!" Dani exclaims, feigning shock.

"You totally are. Now shut up and feed me before Snix makes an appearance that you'll regret!" Dani gives you a look before bending over and laughing.

"Snix? Really Santana? And I'm the dork?" She teases as she makes her way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, Snix. And Snix wants to get her eats on." Dani rolls her eyes and pulls out a container from the fridge.

"Lucky for 'Snix' I still have my famous enchiladas you love so much left over from last night." Dani says, and your face lights up in excitement.

"Oh my God yes! You are perfect." You gush, your stomach starting to growl at the sight. Dani quickly warms up the food and you both sit to eat, plunging into the food right away. You finish your food before Dani and lean back contently, watching the red head as she eats. You watch the way the dimple on her chin becomes more pronounced when she chews in a way that makes you want to kiss and, and you watch the way her tongue darts out of her mouth to lick her full pink lips. Lips that had graced yours just three weeks ago. Dani notices your staring and wiggles her eyebrows, pulling a silly laugh and through your napkin at her and she pokes her tongue out at you. God, that tongue...

After washing up, you make your way to the living room. Dani stands awkwardly in the middle, her hands wringing together nervously.

"Dan, calm down. It'll be okay." You try to reassure her. She falls back into the couch with a huff, turning around and burrowing her head into the cushions. You join her on the couch and give her a poke in the back. She whines in response and makes no effort in coming up.

"Come on, Dani. Just get it over with so you can stop worrying!" You're met with more grumbles and whines. You lean over and tickle her sides, causing her to squeal and wiggle around.

"Stop! Santana, stop!" She yells, attempting to swat your hand away while simultaneously protecting her sides. She finally pokes her head out of the cushions and glares at you. You cease the tickling and put your hands up.

"Now there's the face I missed!" You exclaim, causing Dani to shake her head but smile nonetheless. You could count the smiles she gave you and lock it in a treasure chest to hide away. You're sure any pirate would covet it.

"I hate you." She tells you, blowing her hair out of her face. The words don't hurt you, you feel confident enough to know she's joking. You grab her phone from the coffee table and hand it to her, giving her a pointed look.

"I know you do. Now stop stalling and get to calling." You say, and internally groan at the unintentional rhyme. The red head stares down at the phone in her hands, her mood turning back to nervous. "You can do it. I'm here for you." You encourage her. She looks up at you and bites her lip, and you will your self not to look at them. She turns on her phone and punches in the number, pausing for a moment before finally hitting the dial button. The phone rings for a few moments and you can see the frightened look on Dani's face, ready to hang up any moment. You grab her unoccupied hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. She gives you a half smile but that's enough for you. The phone finally picks up and you hear an older female voice pick up. The volume is loud enough to hear her clearly.

"Hello Domingo-Lawrence residence, Gloria speaking." You hear the woman answer, a slight hint of a Hispanic accent in her voice. Dani's eyes widen and her mouth gaped open, unable to speak. "Hello?" The woman repeats to the silence. You squeeze Dani's hand again, hoping to snap her out of her daze.

"M-Mama?" Comes Dani's vulnerable, child-like voice and it almost breaks you. There is silence on the other end of the line as the woman takes in the speaker. Finally, after what must seem like forever to Dani, the woman speaks.

"Danielle?" Gloria says, her voice verging on surprise and disbelief.

"Y-yes, it's me. Dani." The red head's soft voice replies. There's more silence on the other line.

"Why are you calling?" Comes the woman's now cold voice, and Dani's face immediately falls. If only you could catch her smiles as easily as you could catch her falls.

"I-I'm your daughter, Mama. Why wouldn't I call?" Dani replies, her voice wavering as tears threaten to fall.

"I don't have a daughter. Not since you decided to live such a disgraceful life-style." Gloria responds, and you're just about ready to take the phone from Dani and go all Lima-Heights on the woman.

"I'm still your daughter, mama. Please, don't do this. I miss you and dad and Michael." Dani bravely continues.

"Danielle, you shouldn't have called? I don't have time for this." The woman continues, and you so wish you could wring her neck right now. Dani looks down dejectedly, before releasing a sigh and sitting up.

"I want to see my little brother." Dani states simply, and you feel pride at how assertive she is despite everything.

"Don't be ridiculous, Danielle. I can't let you poison him." She spits out. Dani cringes.

"Please. You can't do this. I just need to see him. He needs to see his big sister. I know you have a heart somewhere, please just let me see him." Dani pleads and your heart clenches. There's more silence on the other line and you know it's killing Dani with anticipation.

"Okay." The woman says, and Dani looks up in surprise.

"Okay?" Dani responds in disbelief.

"Your brother hasn't stopped asking for you. And he's still my son. So you can see him. But my husband can't know of this." She explains. And Dani nods, regardless of her mother not being abl to see her. They set up a date for Dani to come visit and she's about to hang up before the woman speaks again.

"Danielle?" Gloria calls out.

"Yes Mother?" Dani responds nervously.

"You are okay? You are healthy and safe?" The woman asks quietly, and Dani's face turns up into a small smile.

"Yeah. Yeah I am, Mother."

"Good." Is all she says before hanging up. Dani stares at the phone for a moment before putting it down and turning to you.

"I get to see my little brother." Dani says aloud, sounding as if she doesn't trust her own words. You give her a smile and nod.

"Yeah. You are." You say, and Dani looks down and bites her lip before looking back up at you. God, that lip bite will be the death of you.

"Will you, um. Can you maybe come with me?" Dani asks nervously, and you can't help but notice the difference in positions. Normally you're the nervous one around Dani.

"Yeah, of course." You agree, knowing you would do anything for the girl. Dani's face lights up.

"Good! It's only a two hour drive from here. It'll be nice to have your support." Dani says and you remember a question you need to ask her.

"Right, about that, where are you from exactly?" You ask, realizing you never really knew much more than that Dani came from a 'small town'.

"Ellenville." She answers, and your eyebrows raise in confusion.

"Dani, I asked where you come from, not the last lesbian bar you went to." You say, not believing the name to be her birth place.

"Ellenville is the name of the town, Santana!" Dani scolds and your eyes light up with surprise.

"You, the 100% Sapphic goddess, come from a place that shares the name of one of the biggest lesbian icons out there?" You say incredulously. "Damn, girl. And your parents expected you to be straight?" You joke, doubling over in laughter. Dani tries to hold her glare at you but soon gives up as she joins you in laughter. Ellenville, here you come.

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><p><strong>Oh my God hi! I told you authors write 12423543x faster when you review! I got a fast response to the last chapter in it encouraged me to write super fast. Thank you so much I love you! Also I have the next chapter all planned out if you guys show me some love it might just get me writing even faster. ;) Shout out to SparkyBraginsky for being my lovely beta! She has a DantanaFaberry Hunger Games inspired fic she's writing and it's really good so go check it out!**

**ONE MORE NOTE! Suggest music because songs inspire me yaahh.**

**Oh by the way Ellenville is a real town outside of New York don't question me I was looking at a map and thought it was perfect okay by stay perfect little darlings.**


	7. Let It Go and Catch Me

_Let It Go and Catch Me_

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><p>Today is the day. After two years of no contact, you're going to finally see your little brother and, yes, your mother as well. The latter you are not as excited about but are willing to go through just to see him. Perhaps you'll be able to reconcile with your mother. It pained you to hear her disown you like that. Despite everything, she's still your mother and on your hardest days you can't help but yearn for her arms around you, comforting you like the child you once were. When you were innocent and pure in her eyes, her darling daughter and apple of her father's eyes. But that was a long time ago. You no longer remember the gentle touch of your mother's hands as she braided your unruly hair, or the proud pat on the back from your father when you scored the inning at your softball game, when sports were acceptable for a girl to play when she was still young and hadn't quite become the lady she was expected to be yet. That was when she was expected to go give up all her boy-ish activities in favour for things more fitting of her gender.<p>

You miss your parent's love, but you don't miss the social obligations put on you. You don't miss feeling trapped everyday by not getting to freely be who you truly are. All the times you had to pretend to be interested in guys when in fact you were more interested in their sisters. The memory makes you laugh, you had played your role well until that day you were caught. You regretted your carelessness for a long time. Wishing you had paid more attention to the time while you were with Clarice. But you've come to accept it. It was the push you needed towards freedom, the scissors to cut you free. It was a big price to pay but so worth it.

You hear a knock at the door, and move to grab your things, expecting Santana. You're so grateful to have her come with you. You need the support, or you're sure you would wimp out. You open the door to reveal the brunette, giving you a welcoming smile.

"You ready to go?" She asks you, and you gulp nervously before nodding. You both make your way outside to towards the Car-to-Go Santana rented for the day. You had won the argument saying that the trip was for you and Santana wouldn't be going if it weren't for you, which she couldn't think up a good argument against. Santana tosses you the keys before hopping into the passenger seat. You get in and put the key in the ignition, but don't start. You sit back and close your eyes, taking deep shaky breaths.

"Dani? Are you okay?" You feel Santana place her hand on your leg and you immediately tense up. She quickly takes her hand away as she notices your body language, and your eyes snap open to give her an apologetic look.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. I just needed a moment." You give her a smile that you hope is enough to placate her, however you know Santana isn't convinced. She doesn't push it, which you are grateful for.

"Take as long as you need. But, you know. Hurry up so we don't get stuck in traffic." Santana jokes, causing you to laugh and relax a little bit. You start the car and give her a look.

"Alright, I'm ready. But I swear if you complain about my music choice I'm leaving you at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere." You warn, reaching into your bag to get your iPod out.

"I won't have to complain." Santana says, and you look up to see her already connecting her iPod to the stereo.

"Santana! How dare you! I'm the one driving." You yell, glaring at her. She smirks and shakes her head.

"To bad, you were too slow. Plus, I am the being dragged all the way to Lesboland." Santana argues, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Ellenville!" You correct. Santana waves you off dismissively.

"Same diff. Now start driving." She commands, and you huff but comply anyway. You're secretly happy Santana is acting like her natural self around you now. Although nervous Santana was cute, it was a constant reminder of the taller girl's feelings for you, which always put you on edge. You liked it this way. When the two of you can just relax and be yourselves, like before.

As you finally leave the busy streets of New York, it reminds you why you don't normally drive. It was almost impossible getting around the city in your own vehicle. But once you're on the open road, you're reminded how much you actually do love driving. The ability to just keep on moving forward, not limited to your body's capacity to keep going. Watching as the scenery flashes by you, and listening to the steady sounds of the car. It's calming, in a way.

The music Santana puts on you notice isn't her usual rap or R&B music. Her choice selection is a collection of soothing Ed Sheeran and some Sara Bareilles. You smile knowingly, your heart warming at the fact that Santana still remembers, that she was still thinking of you. You take a glance at the iPod and read the playlist name, conforming your suspicion as you read the title, 'Dani's Playlist'. It makes your heart beat faster in a way that is impossible to ignore.

As you're humming along to the music, the next song switches as you hear familiar guitar chords. Your heart races even faster as you recognize the song, you having been the writer and singer of it. You bite your lip as you hear the beginning words.

_Before I fall too fast_

_Kiss me quick but make it last_

_So I can see how badly this will hurt me_

_When you say goodbye_

Santana looks up at you and then moves to change the song.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put that song on the playlist." Santana apologizes, but you stop her hand before she can change it.

"No, don't change it." You tell her, and she looks at you uncertainly.

"Are you sure? There are other songs.." She asks, but you shake your head.

"It's fine. It is my song, Santana." You remind her, and she nods and sits back down.

Catch Me was a song you had written for Santana when the two of you were dating. It spoke of all of her inner insecurities and desires of the newly budding relationship with the girl you were so quickly falling for. After performing it for her you had given her a recorded copy of it, the brunette had claimed to love it and had kissed you so tenderly you felt like the world would come crashing down had you stopped kissing her. That was the night the two of you first made love to each other. It was beautiful and everything you would have wished your first time to be like. You had never felt so close to another person during sex than you did with her. Neither of you had said the words yet, but in that moment you didn't need too.

Your heart clenched at the memory, it's bittersweet after taste making you both happy and sad. You sing along to the words anyway, and Santana looks at you with elated surprise. She joins with you as back up vocals, but every once in a while you pause and just listen to her voice. It calms you and you soon realize that your nerves from earlier have dissipated.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence for the next hour and a half; time seemingly going by both slowly and quickly, if that was possible. Soon enough, a sign appears with the words 'Ellenville' printed boldly. You let out a deep breath. Santana gives you a reassuring smile that you weakly return. As you enter the town, you're instantly hit with nostalgia. The run-down town hasn't changed at all. You easily maneuver your way through the streets, the habit coming back to you like second nature. You spare a glance at Santana and see her scanning the place curiously. You feel self-conscious, bringing her to your old town.

"This place looks like crap," Santana breaks the silence, and you can't help the laughter that bubbles out of you. "No wonder you left. You would have fallen apart with this place!" She continues, and despite your insecurities, it lifts the heavy feeling put on you the moment you entered the town.

"Watch it, Lopez. That's my home town you're talking about." You shoot back.

"Admit it, you hate this place even more than I do." Santana says, and you're not sure how to answer that. You don't have to because soon enough, you're approaching your old home you grew up in. It's a small white house with a yard. Your typical White Picket Fence House. A sign hangs reading 'Domingo-Lawrence's', the name you had given up. Aside from legal purposes, you had decided to go without a last name when you came to New York. Wanting to start fresh and let go of the past that had dragged you down for so long.

You park the car and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes and releasing a breath. You hope your anxiety won't get the best of you. You feel a warm hand tentatively placed on your shoulder, and you open your eyes to look into Santana's encouraging ones.

"You can do this. I'll be waiting in here, but if you need anything, I'll be in there in a heart beat." Santana says to you, and you relax a little bit.

You finally work up the courage to knock at the door, gulping as you hear foot steps nearing. The door slowly opens and you feel a wave of panic come over you in those few seconds. The door finally reveals the woman on the other side, and you're a little shocked at what you're met with. The woman in front of you looks a lot older than your mother. There's a lot more grey in her hair as it's pulled up in her usual neat bun. Dark shadows lay under her eyes, making her look like she hasn't seen rest in a long time. But despite all this, she's still beautiful. Your mother has natural good looks, and the evidence of ageing hasn't changed that.

Her face is neutral, giving away no emotion, as she looks you up and down. You see her eyes lingering longer than necessary on your arm, and you know she would be disapproving of the tattoos that now paint your skin. You shift around awkwardly and give her a smile. It's only partly forced. You genuinely are happy to see your mother again.

"Um, hi Mother. It's really nice to see you." You say, hoping to alleviate some of the tension. She only nods and steps back, gesturing for you to enter. You step forward and your senses are instantly assaulted with the smell that is your childhood home. It's comforting and upsetting at the same time. You hear noises coming from the living room, the sound of virtual cars driving and a boyish voice calling out.

"I'M THE FASTEST CAR HERE YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!" You hear the familiar voice, and your heart speeds up in excitement at finally getting to see your brother. You step into the living room but instead of announcing yourself, you lean against the doorframe and watch him play on his game console. He's gotten so much bigger since you last saw him. His brown hair is shaggy and in need of a hair cut, his shoulders hunched over as if he was uncomfortable in his own body. You watch as his face scrunches up in concentration, and laugh as he loses his game and throws his controller with a grunt. His head snaps up at the sound of your laugh, and he stares at you with wide eyes, shocked as he registers who it is.

"DEE?!" The boy yells, an excited smile exploding on his face. He stands up quickly and all but tackles you. You laugh and twirl him around, quickly putting him down with a grunt at his weight.

"Hey Little Monkey! You've gotten so much heavier, I can hardly lift you up anymore!" You exclaim, but the brown-eyed boy's face does not leave its place buried in your chest as his arms wrap tightly around you, making it hard for you to breath. You hold him just as tightly, afraid of letting him go. You bury your face in his hair and inhale his scent that you've missed so much. You choke back a sob as you stroke his hair, willing yourself not to cry. Michael moves to look up at you with his big brown eyes, worry showing in them.

"Don't cry, Dee Dee! I don't want you to go away again if you're so sad!" The boy cries out, breaking your heart. You push the hair back out of his eyes and look him straight in the eyes.

"I'm not sad to see you, Monkey. I'm just so, so happy. I've missed you so much." You tell him, hoping he doesn't think it was his fault you left.

"But Mama said you didn't like living here anymore, that you hated us and left!" He exclaims. Your head shoots up and you glare at your mother. Typical that she would turn this around on you. She glares right back and leaves the room, much to your relief. You couldn't be held accountable for how you might have reacted. You get on your knees and put your hands on your brother's shoulder's, looking him straight in the eyes.

"I have never, and will never hate you, Mikey. You're my little brother and I love you so, so much." You tell him, and his pout turns into a smile.

"I love you too! But it made me sad when you left. Why did you leave, Dee?" He says. When he was just learning how to speak, he was unable to pronounce your name, the only sounds he could manage was saying 'Dee! Dee!' repeatedly. He had continued to call you that, and nothing makes you happier then hearing him say it again. You smooth out the worried wrinkling on his forward and give him a smile.

"Things just got a little complicated. Mama, Dad and I didn't agree on some things, so I had to go away and live somewhere where people agreed with the same things as me. Does that make sense?" You ask, not wanting to go into detail but hoping he would still understand.

"Yeah, I think so," He nods. "But they said you were being bad? Why were you being bad, Dee?" He asks, and you feel yourself getting angrier.

"I wasn't being bad, Michael. Some people have different views on what bad it, but it doesn't always make the person bad. Mama and Dad, they think that loving certain people is wrong. But that's not true. I don't want you to think that love is ever wrong, okay?" You tell him, but before you can respond you here someone clear their throat. You look over to your mother who has entered the room with a tray of cookies and coffee.

"That's enough, Danielle. I don't want to have to ask you to leave." She warns, placing the tray down on the coffee table. You hold back a retort, not wanting to lose this opportunity to be with your brother.

"Cookies!" Your little brother squeals, stuffing his face with the sweets. You laugh, knowing how much he loves food. Your mother gives him a disapproving look and swats him away. You settle down on one of the seats and Michael squeezes next to you, throwing his arms around you. He had always been an affectionate child, you're so glad that hasn't changed. You're surprised when your mother sits down too, taking a sipping on her coffee as she stares at you. Michael doesn't seem to notice the tension in the room as he grabs your arm and traces your tattoos with his fingers, his eyes wide in awe.

"Danielle, what are you doing with your life now?" She asks, much to your displeasure. You really wish she hadn't, not wanting to have to tell her that you're a struggling artist working at a diner making minimum wage.

"I just got back from travelling Europe, so I'm kind of just settling in, trying to figure out my next step..." You say, hoping it's enough. She raises her eyebrows in a way you know you got from her.

"By yourself? That's dangerous, Danielle. A young woman shouldn't be travelling alone without a man." She scolds, and you wince hoping she doesn't go there.

"Mama..." You start, but don't have to say anything as you're interrupted by the little boy beside you.

"But now that Dee's back, she can come live with us, right?" He says hopefully, and you feel your heart continue to shatter.

"Oh, Monkey. I'm sorry, I can't…" You say, struggling to explain to him why she couldn't stay. Michael pouts and gives you a face that has made you cave in so many times before.

"Please don't leave again! I'll give you my Xbox! You can play on it all you want and I promise I won't go into your room without asking any more! Please stay!" Michael cries, his arms clinging around your neck and his face buried there. You try so hard not to cry.

"He's right, you know. You could come back to us," Your mother tells you, and you look up at her with hopeful eyes. "If you relinquish your sinful lifestyle, we will welcome you back as our daughter." Your mother continues, crushing everything you feel.

"Mama, I can't. Please, don't do this. This is who I am. I can't change this." You plead with her, holding on to your little brother even tighter, as if he was going to be taken from you any moment.

"Danielle, when are you going to stop with this foolish phase!" She hisses, but you're not given the chance to respond as you hear a booming voice enter the room.

"_What are you doing here?!_ I told you never to show your disgraceful face in this house again!" A man yells, and you freeze, staring at the man who has caused so much pain in your life. The man who would nurture you and love you, but could turn into your worse nightmare the next day. The reason you had gone to bed crying at night with belt marks on your legs as a kid for merely breaking a cup, and the reason you smiled when he would buy you a chocolate bar the next day. He was unpredictable, but the one thing you were sure of was his capability of hurting you. You feel Michael tremble in your arms as he looks up at your father in fear.

"D-Dad!" You stammer out. His face reddens with anger.

"You are _not _my daughter! You lost that right when you disgraced this family with your disgusting behavior!" He roars.

"Please! I'm still your daughter. You can't do this." You plead, your heart breaking all over again as you relive that day two years ago.

"Adam, please calm down-" Your mother tries to reason, but is only given a glare and is ignored.

"You better get out of this house, or I swear to God, Danielle-" He threatens but is cut off.

"No!" Michael yells, standing up and putting himself in between you and your father, arms stretched out. "Dani can't leave! She has to stay!" He argues, and your heart swells at his chivalry, however you fear for his safety. You stand up and put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back.

"So now you're turning my son against me?!" He yells, and he moves forward with a look of rage in his eyes. You quickly push Michael behind you. Your father grabs hold of your arm tightly, but before he can do anything, you're both interrupted by a new addition.

"If you hurt her, I'll have the cops here faster than I can rip your eye balls out, hijo de puta!" Santana yells, cell phone in hand and a very deadly look in her eyes.

"Santana!" You call out, relieved to see her. She spares you a glance, looking to see if you're okay before resuming her death glare with your father.

"Is this your girlfriend?" Your father snarls, looking at her with disgust.

"That doesn't matter, but what does matter is your hand on Dani. Let her go before I go all Lima Heights on you!" She swears, and you know she isn't bluffing.

"Michael, go to your room." You tell your little brother. He grabs on to your back even tighter.

"No, I'm not leaving you, Dee!" He cries.

"Michael, go. Now." You grit out, saddened to have to speak to your brother that way. Michael reluctantly leaves your side and leaves the room, shooting you one last forlorn look. You hope to God this isn't the last time you get to see those brown eyes of his.

"Adam, you need to calm down." You hear your mother repeat, placing a hand on his shoulder. You feel his tight grip loosen as he lets you go. Santana comes up next to you and pulls you closer to her. Your father gives you a look full of hatred, and you feel like the trembling little girl you once were, awaiting your punishment. This time, they come in words instead of a blow.

"You are dead to me, Danielle. If I ever see your face again, I'll make sure that's true." He tells you, and you can't suppress the sob that escapes you. Santana pulls you tighter to her side before spitting on the man's shoes. He steps back in surprise.

"You are a worthless piece of shit and I swear to God if you so much as come near Dani, you'll be the one who ends up in a grave." She spits out before pulling you out of the room and out of the house.

She brings you to the car and opens the passenger seat, releasing you as she waits for you to get in. You don't move. You can't. You feel numb, in shock. Santana turns you to face her and looks you in the eyes; her eyes are gentle and full of concern. She pushes your hair back and places a gentle kiss on your forehead; you close your eyes, feeling her bring your body into hers. You feel safe in her arms. After a few moments Santana releases you and gives you a small smile.

"Come on, let's get out of this piece of shit town." She says, and you nod numbly, getting into the car. Santana closes the door after you and gets into the driver's side. She sets the car in motion and begins the two-hour journey back home.

* * *

><p>The next two hours are filled with silence as Dani stares out the window numbly as you drive. You're dying to know what's going on in her mind, but you don't push it. It has been a stressful day for her, and you can't imagine how broken she must be feeling. You wish you could pick up all of her pieces and tape them back together with the best duct tape you can find. She deserves that and so much more.<p>

The ride feels horribly longer then it did coming there. The sun is coming down giving everything a warm glow, but its beauty is lost on you. Everything is dull to you when the girl your heart lays with is hurting. The scenery blurs past you as you focus on driving, however you're still seething at Dani's father's behaviour today. You can't imagine how you would have reacted if you hadn't checked in when you did. Oh, wait. You do. Her father would be in the hospital. You had been concerned when you saw the man enter the house, assuming it was Dani's father. Having heard her mother mention that her husband couldn't know about the visit, it had raised a red flag to you and you couldn't stop yourself from making sure everything was okay.

You make it back into New York's busy streets. Dani still hasn't said anything. You arrive at her apartment building and park, deciding on making sure Dani makes it inside safely. You get out of the car and walk over to her side. She still hasn't moved. Sighing, you open her door and lean down, pulling her up. You close the door behind her and gently escort her inside the building and up the stairs. Once at her apartment, Dani pulls out her keys and fumbles a few times as she tries to get it in, cursing a few times. You take the keys from her hand and do it for her, opening the door and pulling her inside.

"I'm going to make you some hot chocolate, okay? You go into your room and change into your pajamas. I want you to relax." Dani only nods before walking to her room. You find the ingredients and boil some matter. You remember hot chocolate being Dani's comfort drink, always drinking it whenever she was upset or stressed out. Grabbing the hot mug, you knock at Dani's door, not wanting to walk in on her changing.

"Come in." You hear her raspy voice, and you open the door to reveal Dani still in her street clothes, sitting on her bed with her knees drawn up to her chin, staring blankly forward. You run your hands through your hair and sigh. You hate seeing her like this. Passing her the hot beverage, the redhead accepts in and gives you small grateful smile. It's a start, you think. She takes a small sip and closes her eyes, reveling in it's comfort.

"I should go now." You say, and her eyes snap open.

"Don't go." She whimpers, and you know you're not going anywhere. You nod and sit down, watching as Dani stares at you with her expressive eyes, she seems to be contemplating something. After a while of silence, something changes in her. She puts down her drink and moves dangerously close to you, placing both of her hands on your shoulders. You feel her breath tickling your face as she looks into your eyes, searching for something. Your breath hitches as she crashes her lips onto yours, pulling your body closer to hers. You moan into the kiss, bringing your hands to her waist. Her lips feel so good on yours. She pulls you forward so you're hovering on top of her as she peppers kisses on your collarbone. Her hands move down your body and land on the buttons of yours pants, hastily unbuttoning them. You freeze, moving your hand to stop hers. She tries to move your hand away but you push her back, putting space between you too. She stares up at you with hurt eyes. You know this isn't right. As much as you want her, you can't take advantage of Dani's vulnerable state.

"Dani, what are you doing?" You ask. She looks at you with pleading eyes.

"Santana, please, I need this." She husks out, and the sound sends shivers down your spine. "Please. I need you right now. I need to feel someone loving me. Please San, I can't- I c-can't s-stand this feeling. I f-feel so l-lonely." She stutters as tears begin to swell in her eyes. You let go of her hands to place on her cheek, placing a soft kiss on a tear trickling down her face. You lean your forehead on hers, closing your eyes. "Please, San. I need you." She whispers, and you feel torn. And because you love her, you know you'll do anything for her, whether it's right or not. Because you love her, you nod your head, kissing her lips tenderly. She sighs into the kiss and wraps her arms around your back, bring you impossibly closer. You reach down and slowly lift her shirt up, revealing her beautiful curvy body. You take the shirt off and frown at the bruise forming on her arm. You kiss it, and feel Dani's body shake as she holds everything she's feeling back.

"Let it go." You whisper into her ear, placing a soft kiss there. Dani's body shakes one more time before she releases a sob, finally allowing herself to feel. You place kisses all over her body, pouring all of your love into each spot. Dani continues to cry silently, pulling you closer. She grabs at the bottom of your shirt and brings it over your head. Her sobbing has died down to small cries as she brings your lips back into hers. You both slowly undress each other, and as you both lay unclothed for the first time in so long, you feel complete as she holds your body tightly into hers, feeling the whole of each other. She holds you as if she wanted to crawl into your skin, and kisses you as if she needs your lips to breathe. And because you love her, you do this for her, not for you. You show her body love as a priest does at a holy temple, praising each stretch of her body. You make love to her, never once letting her show you any in return. As her body shudders in ecstasy again and again, you hold her tightly to your body, whispering praises to your goddess. You want her to feel your love sink into her pours and caress her body. You want her to feel your love chase away the demons that you know still haunt her. You want it to be enough.

As you hold Dani close, you hope she feels the way your bodies blend so perfectly, and you hope it is enough as you both drift off to sleep. You gave her all, and as the morning comes to find you in her empty bed alone, you know that your all wasn't quite enough.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey hi hello! You can't spell 'drama' with out D-A-D! Well, you can without the extra 'D' but what ever I was close...<strong>

**Wat wat waaat is Dani doing? Lol tbh idk. Heheh. **

**Biiiiiiiiiiggggg thanks to SparkyBraginski for beta-ing! She's a amazing and you should all totally go check out her fic.**

**Oh, and 'Hijo de puta' means 'son of a bitch' in Spanish okay they're is yer lesson for today yer all fluent now hasta la vista!**

**Thank you sooooooo much for reviewing and following! I've now reached over 100 followers! YAYY! You guys are the flyest and idk I think you're pretty rad! If you all drop a little review to let me know you're reading, then that will make me the happiest pineapple! You guys rock! **


	8. Leave My Heart Out Of This

_Leave My Heart Out Of This_

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><p>What you've learned from your own few drunken make out sessions on your travels is how very deeply and simply we as humans crave physical comfort and connection. It's an unavoidable thing, it happens, and we reach out to people who we find attractive or likeable or who make us feel safe. When you were feeling small and vulnerable, denied from the first people who are suppose to love and protect you unconditionally, you needed to fill that empty hole they had bull-dozed into your heart. So as Santana looked at you with those eyes full of love, you felt an uncontrollable need for her. It was selfish, you admit. But you couldn't stop as your lips melded with hers and her hands sailed the seas of your skin, not in a clumsy way when you need to fill a sexual need with a willing body, but in a knowing, loving way one might turn the pages on well-worn book you still come back to read as if it was new. She filled your desire to feel loved, and in that moment you weren't thinking about what it might mean in the morning.<p>

She looks infinite, you think. As you stare at her sleeping face, the sun kissing her tanned skin and her raven hair covering her naked skin like a tapestry. She could be a painting, put up in museums for people to marvel for years to come, her beauty forever preserved. If only you could just stay in this moment, with her asleep, not having to worry about what this all means and expectations and questions you just aren't ready to answer. You wish you could run away with this moment.

You run your hand down her arm, savouring her warm soft skin. Her arms subconsciously move to wrap around you, bringing you closer to her. You freeze, worry creeping on you that she might awake. However her eyes still remain closed, and it makes you smile that even in her sleep, she still tries to protect you from the world with her arms. You sigh, resting you your head on her chest, listening to her steady heart beat. It comforts you, to hear the sound of what keeps someone alive. A whole life depends on that little _bump-bump_ sound to keep going. It reminds you that this is another person, a human being with feelings and hopes and favourite movies and hated ice cream flavours. It's humbling, in away. But right now, it fills you with dread. You can't do this. You can't open your heart out to her. If your parents can't even love you without fail, who's to say that Santana isn't going to hurt you again? You had let your emotions get the best of you, and as a result might have led the raven-haired girl on. Your actions revolt you, and you feel like throwing up as you feel the girls arms around you tighten.

As carefully as you can, you extract yourself from her arms. She doesn't wake, much to your relief. You slip into some clothes and leave your apartment, not looking back. And when Santana wakes, she'll know that it had all been a mistake. You don't allow yourself to think of the pain she'll feel when she sees you missing. You keep on walking, even as you feel your legs burning and the tears running down your cheeks. You don't stop until you hear your name being called. You ignore it at first, thinking you misheard. Until you hear it again, except closer. You turn around and what you're faced with is enough to make you smile and start running.

"Elliot!" You yell, jumping into the waiting arms of the taller man. He laughs and picks you up, twirling you around before setting you down. "Why didn't tell me you were back?!" You scold, smacking him on the shoulder. Elliot had gone to visit relatives in Norway in the month you were back in New York. You had kept in contact with him, the two of you bonded over being outsiders to the trio of ex-McKinley students before you had left. Aside from being in a band with Santana, he had no strong ties with the girl. He was safe. He was a friend you could keep.

"I just got back last night! But that's not important. What's important is what's making your mascara paint your cheeks instead of your eyelashes!" Elliot says, causing a whole new wave of tears to take over. Elliot quickly takes you into his arms and holds you there until your cries subside. He then guides the two of you to a bench nearby, his arm never leaving your shoulder.

"What's going on, Dani?" He prods you gently. You bury your head into his shoulder and let out a shaky breath before telling him the story. You tell him everything, from coming back to New York, to the kiss on the roof top. You tell him about your parents, and how much you miss your little brother. You tell him about how much you needed to feel loved, and that Santana was there and you just needed to feel even for just that night. Elliot listens to you patiently, never saying a word to interrupt you. When you finally finish he gives you a small smile and brings you in for another hug.

"My question Dani, is, do you really know what you want?" He asks as he retracts from the hug. Do you know? You thought you did. Your plan was to come back to New York and try to be friends with the girl who broke your heart. It had been unrealistic, yes you'll admit that. But it's what you wanted. At least, you convinced yourself it was. You think about all that has happened between you and Santana since you got back, and you wonder if that's what you really wanted all this time.

"I don't know, El. I have no idea what I want." You say, feeling more lost than ever.

"That's okay, Dani. You don't always have to." He says, and it comforts you. You're not ready to know what you want.

The two of you sit there for a little longer, head on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around you. People walk by and smile at the two of you, probably thinking you were a couple. The thought makes you laugh. How things would be so much easier if that were true. You'd still have the love of your parents, to start with. And you wouldn't have the cause of so much confusion in your sleeping in your bed right now.

After stalling for as long as you could, you finally find your way back to your apartment, Elliot giving you a kiss on the cheek and a promise to call you tonight. You hesitantly peek into your room, and sigh in relief to find it empty. You flop onto the bed and roll your face into the pillow. It still smells like her, you think, taking in the warm smell of her. You have no fucking idea how you're going to deal with this.

* * *

><p>Waking up to Dani being gone didn't surprise you all that much, to be honest. She had only used you for comfort, you knew that. But it didn't mean it hurt you any less. Tears sting at your eyes but you don't allow them to fall. You knew the risk. You would be lying if you said the only reason you had sex with Dani last night was to comfort her. As much as it was that, you had also wanted it for your self. You had poured all of your love onto her yet it still hadn't been enough. You hadn't been enough.<p>

You get out of bed and put on your clothes, leaving the apartment as fast as you can. Dani wouldn't want you there when she came back, and you weren't about to intrude on her personal space. You make it back to the loft by bus and hear the Wonder Twins talking happily in the kitchen. Quietly, you try to sneak passed them with out notice.

"Santana! Where have you been?!" You cringe, having been caught by Berry.

"I'm a fucking grown woman, Man-Hands. I don't need to tell you where I am all the time like you're my mom." You spit, trying to hide the hurt you're feeling. Not that it's any use, the two having known you long enough to see right through you.

"Of course, San. We were just worried about you. This is New York, not Lima. You never know what psycho could have kid-napped you." Kurt explains. They move closer to you with those ridiculous big eyes, and you feel like you're being cornered by two pandas. You cross your arms and look away, hoping they'd leave you alone.

"I can take care of myself. I hide razor blades in my hair." You tell them, deflecting from the situation. Your jaw begins to quiver and you just want to run back into your room before they see you cry. You'd rather swallow a burning fork before you let that happen. Santana Lopez does _not_ cry.

"Santana, what's _wrong_." Rachel asks, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You shrug it off.

"We're your friends, Santana. You can talk to us. You don't have to pretend to be this callous bitch you want everyone to believe you are." Kurt says, and Rachel shoots him a glare.

"I slept with Dani." The words tumble out of your mouth without your consent. Your roommates eyes widen, and you wonder how they have enough space on their face for the rest of their features.

"WHAT?!" They both yell in unison. You cringe and take a seat on the couch. You might as well tell them everything.

"Isn't this a good thing? You've only been pinning after her everyday since she came back! So why do you look like you're about to cry?" Rachel asks, and you give her your dirtiest glare.

"Okay, first off, Santana Lopez does _not _pine!" You hiss, Rachel raises her eyebrows which you ignore. "And secondly, I am not going to cry! I don't cry." You hiss. They don't respond, staring you down with those stupid sympathetic looks, as if you were a toddler who was just told Santa doesn't exist. "She wasn't there in the morning. She left me alone in her bed." You confess, and those are _so _not tears welling up in your eyes again.

"Oh, Santana. I'm so sorry to hear that." Rachel says, making you cringe.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Obviously she regrets sleeping with me and that's what ever. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I just...I really don't think I can work with her today. Can one of you cover for me?" They look at each other, silently having a conversation before answering.

"I-I can't. I'm Skyping with Quinn later..." Rachel tells you hesitantly, looking to the ground. Your eyebrow raises in surprise.

"Since when do you Skype with Quinn?" You question, noticing Rachel's cheeks go red.

"We're friends, Santana! That's what friends do. It's a perfectly normal." Rachel says, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah...friends...Remind me to get some ear plugs next time she comes over." You say dryly, Rachel's faces reddens even more.

"I don't know what you're talking about Santana Lopez no such thing will be necessary now if you'll just excuse me I need to go run some scales in my room good bye." Rachel stands up and rushes into her bedroom, bumping into a few chairs on her way.

"Okay, what the fuck did I miss?" You turn to Kurt, who gives you a shrug.

"Hey, all I know is that after you had revealed your sexual encounter with Quinn at the wedding and then disappeared with Dani, the two of them went away to talk. They've been talking a lot since then, I'm surprised you haven't noticed." He tells you, and you're surprised you had missed it. Usually you're the first one to pick up on these things, however your mind has been preoccupied on other things...But now that Kurt mentions it, you had noticed how the two of them were suddenly attached to them hip when you came back inside with Dani.

"Huh...interesting. Things just got a whole lot gayer over here." You muse, finding humour in the fact that straight people were now the minority in their little hole in New York. "Anyways, can you cover my shift Hummel?" You repeat, giving him the best puppy dog look you can degrade yourself enough to muster.

"Well I can't do that seeing as I have a shift tonight as well. So I'll be right there with you." Hummel tells you and you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

"Fuck me." You curse into your hands.

"Mmm, Dani already did that." Kurt teases, and you throw a pillow at him. Fucking work...

"Fuck!" You curse, rummaging through your things trying to find your red cardigan for work. You had to go to work soon and you didn't feel comfortable not wearing it. It made you feel more secure, but you would just have to go without it if you couldn't find it.

Looking through some of the boxes you had yet to un-pack, your hands stop as they land on a picture frame. Picking it up and flipping it over, you notice it's the picture of you and Santana at the diner that you had chosen not to put up. You stare at the photo for a moment, taking it all in. Santana is looking at you with so much adoration in her eyes, a look only rivalled by your own. It's like someone captured the very moment the two of you starting falling for each other. You feel a small smile tug on your lips and it brings you back to the memory of last night. _No, stop. You can't think about that. _Shaking your head, you place the photo on a shelf near by and continue looking.

Finally locating your cardigan, you slip it on and rush towards the diner. Luckily you live close to the place so that it doesn't take you long. Walking in, you freeze when you see the raven haired girl in her red uniform._ Fuck. _You had forgotten you shared a shift with her today. A sense of de ja vu comes over you as you remember you had been in this same position not so long ago, awkwardly tip-toeing around each other. She looks beautiful, you notice. Watching her as she goes about her work, unaware of your arrival.

"Dani!" You hear Kurt's voice approaches you. You wave in greeting. Before you can say anything, he pulls you by the hand and brings you into the back room.

"Kurt, what the hell?"

"Dani, what were you _thinking_?!" Kurt exclaims, and you fill with dread, already knowing what he's talking about.

"Fuck, Kurt. I don't even know. I messed up, okay?" Kurt shakes his head and sighs.

"She was really upset when she came back home. You can't play her like that. It's not good for either of you!" He scolds.

"Am I not allowed to make mistakes?!" You hiss back, starting to get angry.

"Not when people's emotions are involved!" Kurt fights back, arms crossed.

"Look, it's not really any of your business what I do! I'm sorry I hurt one of your best friends. But there isn't anything I can do to change that!" You cry, frustrated with the boy's lack of understanding.

"No, Dani. I'm not just worried about Santana, I'm worried about you too." Kurt says, his eyes softening.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm done. Let's get back to work." You shrug and walk passed him. You almost run into Santana as she approaches with a worried look.

"D-Dani? I heard yelling, what's wrong?" She asks, concerned.

"Nothing's wrong!" You say with a little too much anger, and leave a bewildered Santana as you set off to work.

Four hours later and your shift draws to an end. You don't know what has caused Dani to be so angry, but you have your suspicions. You could really kill Kurt if you weren't in the middle of the diner right now.

You've had the sense to stay away from her, watching her silently stew as she forced a smile to the costumers for the pass four hours. Walking towards the back room, you feel a pull on your hand as you're dragged outside into the alley and pushed against the wall roughly. You stare back at the red head in confusion as she glares back in anger.

"I don't fucking know what I want!" She yells. You're not exactly sure why she's telling you this but you know better than to question her.

"Okay." You answer calmly, only seeming to make her more angry.

"I slept with you and I fucking enjoyed it and no I don't feel guilty and that probably makes me a horrible person but I don't care!" She continues, you feel your chest tighten at her words but you don't let it show.

"Dani, it's _okay._" You repeat. Dani's jaw clenches together and tears brim her eyes. You're so confused right now. Shouldn't you be the angry one? She was the one who left you alone in her bed. But then again, she could probably leave you alone on the moon and you'd still forgive her.

"No, it's not okay. I'm a horrible human being and I-I just needed to escape from that for one night and I'm sorry I used you but I did and I'm sorry." Her shoulders shake as tears escape from her eyes.

"Dani, _stop. _It's okay." You reach for her shoulders and pull her into you. She tries to push you away at first but you hold her in place. She eventually relaxes and breaks down, crying freely into your neck.

"I'm just so _fucked up_." She cries, and you hold her closer.

"We all are." You say, truly believing it. There are billions of people on this earth. You would probably think you've met some pretty sane people out of that number. But you're wrong. There is not a single person on this planet who has not been fucked up in some irreparable way. It's just how people exist. The key is to find someone who will join you in your mutual fuck-upery to make the trip a little less painful and a little more functional. You just wish Dani would let you be that person.

After sometime, Dani's cries subside. You pull back and give her a small smile.

"Hi." She says meekly, and she looks so small and vulnerable you just want to tuck her away in your pocket.

"Hey," You respond, your hands on her shoulders "Let me take you home, Dani."

"Okay." She says, too tired to argue. You're still hurt from her leaving you, and still so confused on where everything stands. But it's been a tough few days for her, and she's hurting. So for now you'll push away your own pain.

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><p><strong>Dani's pretty fucked up, I know I know. <strong>

**OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS GAVE ME 17 REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER THANK YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Seriously though, I was soooo stuck with this chapter, and I kept wanting to put it off but because of your reviews I kept going! So if you like my little story, then it would mean the world if you reviewed. Can we try to get it to 20 this time? Or am I just being too greedy? I love you guys you perfect people.**

**Oh also I keep forgetting to say who sings the song of the title! Leave My Heart Out Of This is sung by Fifth Harmony, they are my angels so go check them out!**

**STAY PERFECT I LOVE YOU OKAY?!**


	9. Heliophilia

_Heliophilia_

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><p>It wasn't the last time that you and Dani had been intimate, like you thought it would be. It was suppose to be a mistake, one made out of Dani's need for comfort and nothing more. It had been a month since the visit to her parent's house. The night you made love to her, and the morning she had left you alone in a bed that suddenly seemed way too big without her.<p>

The second time, it had been after another night of drinks at the loft. The both of you had been admittedly intoxicated, and when Dani pulled you by the arm into your room with that needy look in her eyes, you really couldn't refuse her anything. Even though it would have probably have been best to stop it.

Each morning came like the first, with an empty bed and nothing but her cold scent left behind. After that, It had almost become a routine. Dani would give you a look and make up an excuse for you to come over, only to end up in bed. You didn't talk about it. There was an unspoken agreement between you two. So when she left you in the morning, it was your signal to pack up and leave. It never really got any easier each time.

Rachel and Kurt knew something was going on, they would have to be pretty stupid not to. However much to your relief, they never said anything. Only giving you a sympathetic look as you skulked into the loft the next morning. You knew it wasn't right. You knew it was slowly tearing you apart, having her so close yet not close in the way you want her to be. But she was like the sun, you couldn't get enough of her, even if she was burning you slowly.

So that leaves you in the position you are now, chest heaving and heart beating so fast you felt like it was about to run away as Dani leans over you, planting erratic kisses over the sweet spot on your neck.

"_It's better with feelings." _Brittany's voice rings through your head, and you silently curse her. Dani trails kisses down your torso, making your breath hitch when she places a soft kiss on your hip before coming back up.

You don't notice the tear slipping out of your eye until Dani's hand gently feathers across your check, wiping it away and leaving a ghost of a kiss in it's place. She leans back and looks about ready to ask you what's wrong, but you know answering that question would only scare her away, so instead you pull her close, your unusually cool hands trailing up and down her bare back as you just allow yourself to feel body on yours, trying to memorize the way each part of her body connects with yours like a lock and key. You need to hold on to this fleeting moment, before the morning steals it away from you. She tucks her head under your chin as you stroke her hair, still damp with sweat. You try not to let anymore tears escape, but if they did, they were left unnoticed by Dani as she slept soundly, tired out. You stay up for a little longer, counting the times you can feel her heart beat against you. It eventually lulls you to sleep.

* * *

><p>You're on the roof again. The wind is gently blowing against you as the sun shines down. Warm on your skin, but not unpleasant. You're thinking about the mess you're in. Wondering if you're in too deep. She had left you again. You were stupid to think this time she might stay. That if you held her close enough, you might convince her not to leave. You're not sure how much more you can take before you're the one to leave this time.<p>

You don't notice how much time you spend on the roof, not until a shiver over comes your body as thick clouds hide the sun away. But you don't move, allowing your body to get colder and colder as the temperature quickly changes. You look up at the clouds, the sun just barely showing through them. It was there once, as you basked in it's warmth, only to disappear as quickly as it came. But that doesn't stop you from waiting for it's warmth to come back.

You hear the door to the roof open behind you, but you don't turn around. Staying focused on the sun that isn't quite there. You're suddenly engulfed with warmth and the husky scent of leather and perfume as a jacket is placed over your shoulders.

"Kurt told me you were up here." Dani says as she takes her place beside you, leaning her arms on the railing.

"I like to think up here. Get away from the HummelBerry twins." You pull the jacket around you tighter, finally noticing how cold you actually are.

"And what is it that you needed to think about?" She asks, looking at you.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." You sigh, looking away from her and back out to the city. Dani doesn't push you, instead leaning her head on your shoulder, as if that was the very place it belonged. Neither of you say a word, letting the silence take over as the wind nips at your skin. When the sun eventually peaks out again, you find the courage to speak.

"Dani, what's going on between us?" You ask, and you feel her stiffen beside you.

"I...I don't know, San. I really don't..." She trails off, and you sigh, pushing her away gently so you can look into her eyes.

"I can't do this anymore, Dan. I can't wake up each morning without you beside me. I need all of you. I can't do this half way." Her brow furrows and she looks slightly panicked.

"So what are you asking?" Her fragile voice becomes a pitch higher.

You step closer and take her shoulders. "I'm...I'm asking you to make this real. I'm asking you to give us another try. I want you to be my girlfriend again. And I want you to stay in the morning." You continue, a sense of urgency in your voice as you search her eyes desperately.

"I-I can't. San, I can't. You can't ask me to be that." Dani says, her body shaking and tears appearing in her eyes.

"Dani, _please._ Don't fight this. I can't keep going on like this. You either take all of me, or none at all." You plead, hating to give her the ultimatum that was so evidently necessary.

She shakes her head and pushes you away. "No! You can't do this! It's unfair, Santana." You feel your heart shatter at her words, but you only show her a cold mask of indifference.

"Then this ends here. I'm sorry, Dani." You shake your head and place her jacket on the railing before walking away, and before you can see the tears break free from Dani's eyes. You know they could so easily break you.

"Santana! Please, don't do this!" You hear her cry out, but you continue to walk away. As you open the door, you almost miss her next words.

"Please. I can't bear to lose someone else."

You almost don't answer, but you do.

* * *

><p>"Dani, you never really had me anyways." And with that, you're the one to leave this time.<p>

Elliot brings a cup of hot chocolate to your curled up form on his couch, brushing a few strands of your red hair away from your face as you sniffle and take the warm mug. You take a few sips of the sweet beverage and give him a small smile of gratitude.

"You know, I miss your blonde hair." He says, curling a strand of your red hair between his fingers. "You're one of the few natural brunettes who could pull it off." He continues with the small talk.

"You think so?" Elliot nods, now carefully messaging your scalp as your eyes close in pleasure. "San seems to have a thing for blondes." You muse out loud, your stomach starting to feel upset at the mention of her.

"You could have no hair and Santana would still have a thing for you." He says. You peak an eye out at him and sigh. He bops your nose playfully.

"I'm scared, El." You confess, moving to burrow your head into his shoulder.

He rubs his hand up and down your back comfortingly. "I know, Dani. But you were never the one to let your fears get in the way of what you wanted."

"But this is so much more. Putting a label on it, letting her be that girl again. It opens me up to being hurt again. I've had too much heart break in my life. I can't let it happen again."

He holds you tighter before pushing you back to look into your eyes. "You're always going to risk heart break. You will always have to put your heart on the line. But you're a lot stronger than you think you are, Dani. And you can't let your fears hold you back from love." He gently pinches your cheek, causing you to smile a little. "Plus, I don't think Santana is likely to do something so stupid again. It sounds like she's really trying hard to get you back."

"I don't know, El. I think she's given up. I don't think she wants me anymore." You say, suddenly realizing how much you actually do want her in your life. Funny it takes her leaving for you to realize it.

"She still wants you. If what Kurt and Rachel tell me is true, that won't change. She just needs to see that you want her, too. And not just for sex." He says, giving you a pointed look that causes you to blush and look away.

"So what do I do now?" You ask, and Elliot gives you a smirk.

* * *

><p>"Lady Hummel, Hobbit. I'm going clubbing tonight, you guys in or what?" You snap out quickly, pulling a tight black dress over your fit form as you walk out of your room. You spin around and expose your un-zipped back to Kurt, which he quickly moves his delicate hands to zip up.<p>

"Is there a particular reason for this impromptu rendezvous, Santana?" Rachel asks, joining us in the living room.

You cross you arms over your chest. "Does there need to be? I just want to get drunk, dance, and have some fun! Are you guys in or not?"

Kurt and Rachel share a glance which infuriates you to no end. They always seem to have a way of communicating with just a look. "Santana, Kurt and I both think that maybe going out isn't the best for you right now." They say, and you glare at them.

"I don't really care what you two think is best. If you don't want to come with me, then fine. I'll go by my self while you to stay at home in your grandma pajamas and watch reruns of Golden Girls!" You huff, and you turn around and storm out, ready for your night of booze and girls. You don't allow yourself to think about the one girl you really want. Not while you make your way to the front of the line and flash your side boobs to the bouncer to let you in. Not while the bartender gives you a flirty wink and a free drink you don't question. And certainly not while you get yourself lost in the crowds of people grinding up against you, feeling the alcohol pump through your veins. You don't think about her. You can't think about her. You _won't_ think about her.

* * *

><p>You're not sure how much time has passed but you become aware of a tall brunette grabbing you by the waist and bringing you closer. You smirk and wrap your arms around her neck, swaying your hips closer and closer. You close your eyes for a moment and feel the beat of the music pumping through you. When you open your eyes again, you think you see blonde hair that looks a little too familiar. You shake it off and look back up at your dancing partner, who is looking down at you with a look full of lust. You don't like the way your stomach twists and makes you want to vomit, but you blame it on the alcohol.<p>

You dance with her for a little while longer, feeling her hands reach lower and lower. You want to rip them off you but you will yourself to stay in place. You need to move on. You need to move on from brown eyes and ever-changing hair. You swear you spot the familiar blonde a few more times in the crowd, but instead of investigating you bring the woman flush up against your body and lean up wards, determination in your eyes as you get ready to lock lips with the stranger.

As your lips are about to touch, you aren't granted contact as you feel a strong hand grab your arm and rip you away, sending you stumbling backwards as the person drags you though the thick crowd of people and into an empty hall way. The identity of your captor isn't revealed until you're pushed against the wall and faced with brown eyes and blonde hair.

"D-Dani?" You slur, worrying someone might have roofied you, causing you to see things. But there she is, eyes burning with an angry fire as she pins you against the wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Santana?" She hisses, bringing her face close up to yours.

You ignore her question and raise your hand up to grasp a lock of her hair. "Your hair is blonde." You state, bringing her hair up into the dim light, watching as the beams shine through and scatter through the golden strands. Dani's hand reaches up to grab your hand and pull it down next to you. "Are you real?" You ask, squinting your eyes and bring your face right up against hers.

Dani lets out a frustrated breath and pushes you back against the wall again. "Yes, I'm real. Now tell me what you're doing here." Dani redirects back to her original question.

You narrow your eyes at her. "Why do you care? It's not like you own me anymore. You didn't want that, remember?" You shoot back.

She growls and leans forward, smashing our lips together. You want to fight her off, but by instinct you push right back into the kiss.

"You're wrong. I do have you. These lips, only I'm suppose to kiss." She hisses, bringing her lips back down in another bruising kiss. You force yourself forward and flip your positions, pinning her to the wall, trapping her hands above her. You bring your hips forward, keeping her there.

"I gave you a choice, _Danielle,_" You spit out, hating the way she flinches at the use of her full name, "I can't go on being your little pet anymore." Your hands grip tightly onto her wrists, but you don't let go.

"You don't _get it,_ Santana," She says, her eyes looking back up at you with a vulnerability that reminds you to loosen your grip on her wrists, "I _want_ you. I want _all_ of you." She says, and the cold look your face has been set in begins to waver.

"Wh-what?" You stutter out, not entirely sure you believe what you're hearing.

Dani wiggles her wrists out of your grip and places one hand gently on your hip, the other one lying softly on your cheek. "I want to try this again, San. For real this time." She says with conviction in her face. All you can do is stare at her dumbly. Your mind is swimming and you're not sure if what you're hearing is real and you really don't want to keep your hopes up because God she's so beautiful and if you could just hold onto her forever you think that would be pretty okay.

"I'm-I'm too drunk for this." You finally say, your face falling forward onto Dani's collar bone. Dani laughs and wraps her arms around you.

"Let's get you into bed, San." She says, pushing you back and wrapping and arm around your waist.

'Before she makes it out of the door, a tall figure blocks the way.

"Where are you taking her?" The woman from before questions her. You moan and bury your head in her shoulder, not wanting to deal with this right now.

"I'm taking her to were she belongs. And you best be getting out of my way because I'm not afraid to cut a bitch who's trying to get into my girl's pants!" Dani growls, and your heart flips at the hearing the words, 'my girl'. You're still not entirely sure any of this is actually happening. Maybe someone did roofy your drink. The woman looks between you two, seemingly losing interest, shrugs her shoulders and leaves. Dani huffs and continues her task at hand, reaching outside and feeling a refreshing cool air hit your face. Dani hails a taxi and she opens the door for you, trying to gently guide you in. It doesn't really help, you stumble forward anyways and clumsily fall into the seat. Dani give the taxi driver an address, but you're more interested in her hair. You bury your hand into the golden locks and run your fingers through it. She closes her eyes and leans her head into your touch.

"Your hair. It's blonde." You say again. Dani laughs and opens her eyes, shaking her head a little.

"Yes, San. It is. I'll explain tomorrow." She says, but you're not really paying attention to her. You lean forward and bury your face into her hair, inhaling deeply.

"You smell like grapes." You state, breathing in more of her scent.

The vehicle stops and the both of you get out, Dani giving the driver a few bills. Once you look up, you realize you're not at the loft. You're at her place. You don't question it as she guides you up the stairs and into her apartment. She turns on the lights and your eyes squint at the brightness. She notices your discomfort and quickly turns the light back off, opening the curtains to let in the dim light from the street lights instead. A calm quiet settles over the room as the two of you gravitate towards her room. Dani turns around to face the other way as she strips out of her clothes. You quickly do the same, slipping out of your dress, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. You turn around and see Dani pulling an over-sized shirt over her body. Frowning, you walk over to her and pull her forward as you fall backwards onto the bed. She squeals and you giggle as she falls on top of you. You move your hand to the bottom of the shirt, beginning to pull it up. Dani stops your hand and pulls her shirt back down. You frown, giving her a pout.

"No, San. We're just going to sleep." She says, almost as if she was lecturing a baby.

"It's not like we haven't done this before..." You grumble, nuzzling your face into her neck and placing a soft kiss there. You still haven't quite processed everything that has happened, but you're going to leave that for your sober self to deal with in the morning.

"That's why I don't want to have sex with you tonight, Santana. I want to do this right." She says, getting up off of you.

"Ugh, fiiiine." You whine, rolling around on the bed and under the covers. "But I'm not wearing any clothes!" You mumble, burrowing your face into the pillows and letting out a huff. Dani laughs and joins you in bed, staying on her side. After a moment of stillness, you both roll over and inch closer, noses brushing against each other.

"Hi." She says.

"Hi." You answer back.

She reaches her hand out and grabs yours, her thumb moving back and forth as she looks into your eyes.

"I'm really glad you're here." She says, giving you that warm smile of hers.

"Yeah. Me too." You answer back. And just like a sunflower with the sun, you're drawn right back in. You only hope you won't get burned.

* * *

><p><strong>heliophilia<strong>

an attraction or adaptation to sunlight, as the sunflower. — **heliophile,** _n._ — **heliophilic, heliophilous,** _adj._

**ALLLOOO YOU LOVERLY HUMAN BEINGS! (Also to any non-human beings who might be reading this. I don't discriminate) **

**Thank you for all the great reviews for the last chapter! They were really meaty, just how I like them (well I'm a vegematarian but whatever) Anyways, your reviews are the only thing keeping me going! Whether it's short or small, keep them going! I just want to know that you are reading.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE! PLEASE READ!**

**I'm going to need some help from you guys. Do you want me to start wrapping it up in the next chapter? Or do you want me to make it a slightly longer story arch? I have a few ideas were I can take this, continue exploring this with wat happens with Dani's family, the development of their tentative new relationship, and other stuff. But I need to know if you guys will be still interested. If not, next chapter will be the last. Please let me know! And throw ideas at me! I want to know what you guys want to read.**


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